We laid my mom to rest today

chattypatty49November 24, 2008

I don't think I have ever been so physically, emotionally and spiritually drained.

Mom had alzheimers and was in a nursing home for the past 5 years. I feel they cut her life short (even if she was 91 yrs old).They told us she had UTI and they were giving her iv fluids. Next she fell out of her wheel chair, not once, but three times.When asked why she wasn't taken to the hospital they said that if she could move her arms and legs and her little hips weren't out of alignment she didn't need to go. They called my brother and said she had fallen out of her chair again and had a bruise on her head.

It wasn't a bruise she had a 3 inch gash. I went down there and came home and called my brother cause he is a lot farther away than I and he came up and told them he wanted her in the hospital.

The hospital did xrays and she had a skull fracture and possibly a broken wrist.

The Dr. in the hospital sent her to hopice house on Sunday. No way were we going to let her go bsck to the nursing home.

She took a turn for the worse on Monday morning and fought a brave and hard fight till Thursday afternoon.

I miss her so much and am so angry (at the nh) that I can't stand it.It hurts cause we promised dad we wouldn't put her there. The Drs. did, but I still feel so guilty and I know my dad is in Heaven with her,but I hope he can forgive me.

Sorry this is so long and rambling, but all I am right now is a bundle of nerves.

Thanks for letting me vent.


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Patty, I'm so sorry you lost your mom. You truly will miss her. I hope you can do something to remember her--plant a rose bush, make a special photo album. It helps. I still miss my mom a lot, and she's been gone 5 years. I often thing she would be so surprised at how some things have turned out.

Heartfelt condolences.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 2:29PM
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Patty, I know or think I know how you feel. The guilt is not productive and you will let that go eventually. Losing our parents no matter the age is difficult. 91 is ripe age, but having alzheimers is so difficult. My mama was blind and I always thought that was horrible for her, and it was. But she had her mind and I think losing your memory is even worse. Don't beat yourself up over the nursing home. It does sound like they are severely negligible and you certainly could entertain a lawsuit after your emotions calm a bit. I know your mom is happy and at peace in a wonderful place now with your dad! Take comfort in that and take care of yourself.


    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 3:38PM
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Patty, I'm so sorry for you. My great-grandfather had alzheimers and was in nursing homes the last couple of years of his life, too. In fact two of my great-grandfathers had that happen to them. (I was born with 5 great-grandparents. I just lost my last one, a great-grandmother, two weeks and one day ago). I'm sorry that this happened to you and I too would be very upset with the nursing home. That's horrible that more caution wasn't taken with her, especially after the first time she fell.

    Bookmark   November 30, 2008 at 5:16PM
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Your feelings of anger and guilt are natural and will subside with time. I would like to encourage you to seek a grief support group in addition to the forum offered here. I don't know where I would be if I had not participate in one myself.

    Bookmark   December 1, 2008 at 6:47PM
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