Just lost my mother.
My mother passed away on October 7th, 2007 from heart dysrhythmia. Not even four months ago, my best friend lost his mother to breast cancer, and two months previous to that, my other friend's mother had a brain hemorrhage at her daugthers wedding in Florida and passed away. After going through the trials that those deaths brought to my door step, it seemed as if I was already prepared to lose my mother. When I found out that my mother had passed while at work, I cried. Ever since then, however, it seems like it's harder and harder to show emotion over the subject, which makes me feel like a complete and total ass. I don't understand how the most important person in my life can be gone, and for some unknown reason, little to nothing can make me so emotionally upset over the matter.
I think that part of the reason that I haven't really become overwhelmed with emotion is because I'm still living in our house and I've yet to get rid of her car, three weeks after she's passed. Coming home everyday reminds me of her, while seeing her car there gives me a false sense of hope, like walking in the door I'm going to see her sitting there reading the newspaper, napping, or watching Dr. Phil.
I don't really know what to do to make myself believe that my mother is really gone. I've sought out my friends and my aunt who have all lost their mothers young, but I seen this forum on google and figured a larger group of individuals who know what it's like would be able to help.
Any suggestions to help me move forward and come to grips with reality?