Mother Died:

jacki2008October 24, 2008

My mother died a few years ago, December 4th 2005. At the time I was 12, and I had only talked to her a few times in my lifetime. You see, I'm not going to get deep into my past, but I'll summarize it. My mother was married to another man when she was dating my father. Her and her husband were split up, though. She had done drugs before, but nothing too heavily. After giving birth to me, her addiction spiraled. My father left with me, leaving Mom behind. A few years before her passing, my sister had called me. Told me about her life, that she was doing great, she had a boyfriend and she was pregnant, and that my brother, David was doing fine. We sent letters, exchanged photographs. For once I had been a part of my mothers family. I had learned that the letters I sent to my sister had been stolen by my mother, along with cell phones, a DVD player and stereo. My mom called me one day. I remember her voice being weak, but at the time I didn't think of it. She told me she was getting help and that she loved me, and she asked about my grades. I really believed she was getting better. I thought she'd clean up and we would finally meet. I never heard from her again. My sister called the following year and told me that our mother had died. Overdose, as you might have expected. She died alone outside of Denver in a hotel. Weighed 75 pounds.

Even thought this was nearly 3 years ago, it still feels like it happened yesterday.

I don't know much about my mother. The only things I do know is that she wanted to go into the olympics, and she loved figure skating. She was great at it. Her favorite color was green, and she loved animals. I'm not sure about anything else. I have a few pictures of her, but they're all from her in jail. Recently I have found my brother, David. We've been talking online for a while, and we're a lot alike. It was amazing to find him. I don't want to ask anything about mom, not knowing how he still feels about our mothers passing. I want to visit Denver, where I was born. I live in the Boston area right now, 3,000 miles from Denver.

I found this site, and I wanted to share to all of you my story. I'm not sure if anyone will read it, but it was helpful to just write everything down. I'm 15 now, honors student, and trying to stay out of trouble. From my mothers mistakes and fathers mistakes I have grown and have matured years beyond my age. I'm still very emotional, and many people still cannot comprehend what I'm going through inside. Luckily, I have friends and family beside me.

Shannon Petersen - May 6, 1966 - December 4, 2005.

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Jacki, you are a remarkable young lady. I cannot fathom the emotions and trials you have gone through. Stay in school, make a great life for yourself. Sometimes life throws us some bad situations, but it sounds like you are a great person and your mom would be so proud of you. Thanks for telling your story and believe me that there are people out here and on this forum that care very much for you.

You are a great kid! (I hope you don't mind me calling you a kid!)


    Bookmark   October 25, 2008 at 2:21PM
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thanks for sharing, jacki.

Your mother may always be something of a cipher or mystery to you because you grew up away from her (& thank goodness for that, since you grew up strong, healthy, & safe).

I sometimes think of life as a chain, one link a mother, the next link a daughter, etc.

Your mother's link wasn't a strong one, & the stresses of life eventually pulled her apart, but you are the next link in the chain;

you connect both yourself & your mother to your ancestors, & by living well, you connect your mother's life to a healthy future.

You are the next link in her chain of life.

I wish you the best.


your message is beautifully written;
you have a gift for the written word.

    Bookmark   October 30, 2008 at 11:39AM
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What a strong person you are,I'm sure you don't even realize it. I'm sorry for your Mom. And I'm sure she's sorry to.Family is the best thing to get you though troubled times.You are older then your age, try to be 15 the best is yet to come for you.You write beautifully keep it up.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2008 at 7:55PM
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Thank you all. Your comments are all very helpful. You don't even know how much it means to me. I've learned a little more about my mom since posting. David has been helping more than he thinks. I found out that before the end of her life, she had a lot of seizures and when he'd go and visit her, she'd pass out spontaneously. Megan, our sister, found a pipe in my moms robe when she went to stay with her for a couple of days. And, I've found out what drug she was doing, cocaine. It's so sad. But now I can digest everything I've learned and grow from it, you know?

My mother:

    Bookmark   November 1, 2008 at 9:50PM
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