Friends husband passed over the weekend

katefisherOctober 22, 2007

This afternoon I found out a friends husband passed away over the weekend. He had lung cancer. The thing was he had been through chemo and was a lot better. I notarized some documents for them at home a few days ago and he seemed really good. I don't understand the finer points but know his demise was considered to be pretty sudden but not totally unexpected. He was sick but they thought on the mend.

Anyway I would like to do something for my friend. We are not extremely close but I have been racking my brain since I heard about Jim's death on how I can help.

For those of you who have been through this what did friends do that made a difference for you?

Thank you for your time.


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I lost my brother suddenly. The thing that my friend did that made a difference: She was there. Anytime I felt alone and called her, she was available for a visit. She let me talk and talk and talk about my brother (and cry and cry and cry). She had never met him, but she asked all sorts of questions about him and his life.
I told her once that my brother collected bottles to recycle. She picked up one that she found laying around the hospital (where we work) and gifted it to me, in memory of Bob. It made me feel good, knowing that eventhough, he is gone someone is thinking of him.

I think that it is wonderful that you are looking for ways to help your friend and I hope that you can bring her some comfort.


    Bookmark   October 23, 2007 at 12:23AM
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You may try sending her a handwritten letter (short note) to let her know that she is in her thoughts and that you are available for her whenever she is ready. I know that after my daughter passed, I was crazy with all of the support people tried to provide. It was a little overwhelming, then and even now, and it's been 13 years. Maybe after things settle, or when she has one of those low moments, she might give her some peace to see you note letting her know that you are there for her. That may be enough to get her back to center, so to speak. You may want to drop by and sit with her for a few moments, just so she will have someone to vent to. It's tough, as we all know. It's just as difficult to be in your shoes, but sometimes it only takes something simple to be a true friend.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2007 at 11:46PM
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I think the most important thing that a friend can do to help you through a loss is simply to be there for her to talk to. The thing I wanted most when I lost my dad was to talk, talk about what happened, talk about him and not just for the few weeks after it happened. She is going to be hurting long after the world continues on as normal.

    Bookmark   October 31, 2007 at 12:56AM
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