How you all doing?

junemnOctober 18, 2005

Just wanted to check in to see how everyone is. It's almost two months since my grandson's suicide and it's so hard. I try to be pleasant and outgoing but I don't feel that way. I feel like no one wants to be around a downer. Hubby spends a lot of time in the garage, I guess that's his escape. I feel so alone sometimes and just have no energy to do anything. I do a lot of reading and have been checking out some web sites but I don't know, it just doesn't help. I did find out about a support group I plan to try out. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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June, I encourage you to go to the support group. Not only is it possible you will get some help in such a setting, but you may be able to offer some form of comfort or insight to others.

There is no rushing this grieving process. We just have to go through it. I'm sorry you are struggling trying to be pleasant and happy when you don't feel like it. Afterwards, go home and cry. It's ok.

Hugs to you.....


    Bookmark   October 18, 2005 at 7:53PM
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Hi june, thanks for checking in. I feel the same exact way as you.I used to be very kind and outgoing now I just don't feel like talking to anyone and I also think im a downer.I have gotten to the state where I dont even want to speak to my husbands family. I hate to be mean but they get on my nerves its like they want to compete with me on who he loved more. I know he loved us all the same.I celebrated his birthday on oct 8th and I did good at the cemetery but when they made me leave for the night I fell apart and have not been able to get myself back together. I dont understand this grieving stuff it stinks, I get back to the point where I just want to be with him.Its just so hard without him and with the holidays coming up im real scared.But I love to speak with you guys it really helps.June you are always in my thoughts. I hope we both get thru this. hugs tracy

    Bookmark   October 19, 2005 at 4:01AM
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I tried a group support. Went one time and that was it. All
this group did was go around and each person told their
story and cried. Even after ten years they are still crying
at this group. Well my daughter and I didn't go back again.
We didn't need that we felt bad enough. I am so sorry June
its not easy losing a child. I also lost a daughter last year
to suicide. She was 43. And the year before I lost a Grandson
in a car accident. I will pray that you find some peace.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2005 at 8:44PM
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fall's here, and there's no dad to have cocoa with.

great aunt lil is starting to show signs she doesn't want to make it through the winter- she's only eating once a day, is giving things away 'while she still has some say' and when we popped by this weekend, asked if we'd take her white shepard if anything happened to her.

at 87, I think she's qualified to make up her own mind about it (been widowed for 15 years) but it's sad none the less...

my mom's holding in there, but she's already bored with the company of people her own age- says all they do is complain, and depress her.

happily- my brother has decided to take an interest in getting the house weather-proofed, so we're playing 'one-up' at mom's- he comes by saturday morning, does stuff, I come by sunday, do stuff...

    Bookmark   October 20, 2005 at 1:42PM
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