Breakdown after Father passed - Family Issues

breakdown09October 16, 2009

I am loosing it. Feel like I am scared to go outside. My father passed away in April - both my mom and dad had terminal illnesses and I have been there for both as a caretaker. Siblings are acting strange - I seem to be angry with the one person I have always been close to and all the others who were never close came together. Strange as I always thought I would be so much more different than I am.

I seem to be ok one day and the next scared to death. I have found myself behaving spastically. I talk real fast jumping from one topic to another then at times I am frozen and can't say anything. One day I am in a great mood and goofy then the next - everything bothers me and I do and say idiotic things. Then I am embarrassed to show my face for a few days. Crazy anxious. I can't focus. I forget things all the time and feel like I am going crazy. Anyone out there dealing with these emotions?

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auntyara

You are in shock,
I'm so sorry for you losses. Please be patient with yourself. nothing seems real and you are dealing with as much as you can. right now nothing is normal, why should you be? You are in shock.
sending you hugs, try to think gentle thoughts. I know this is not easy.
Laura

    Bookmark   October 16, 2009 at 8:37PM
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mariend

Is there some support groups in your area? Check with a doctor, YMCA, churches etc. They will give you the guidance and support to help you get your emotions under control. I wish I had done that when I lost my parents in one month many years ago, but I was not close to them either.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2009 at 11:39AM
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undyinglove4diana

Yeah I have also felt a lot of these things. I call it being in a fog. The not remembering things, at the time of the death and soon after. I was in complete shock,in a fog. I'm still having trouble remembering current things but I think that's because I'm continually thinking about not having my mom and constantly wondering what am I going to do now? It's hard to remember things, when your mind is so busy on these things. You cant comprehend whats being said. Uncomfortable/scared in going outside. Yeah I have experienced that too. I think it's because all my security has just been ripped away. I don't feel normal. I've had panic attacks, feeling like I can't breath. I get angry more easily. I also cant handle normal problems at the moment. Such as drama between my teens. I simply cant deal with it all and of course they don't understand that. In the beginning I even had trouble connecting showing love to my family. I have always snuggled my daughter, she's 19 and soon after losing my mom/her grandma, she would ask me to come snuggle her and I just wasn't capable of doing that.

    Bookmark   November 5, 2009 at 1:02PM
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