My Story- I'm 25 and lost both parents
I'm attending biweekly therapy sessions but I haven't found anyone my age to talk to about being an 'orphan.' I don't think I even like that word. Everyone I know that is under the age of 50 still has at least one parent. I do have a great support system through my husband and family and friends, but I don't think they can possibly understand what I'm going through.
Both my parents had been married to other people and had children before they got married and had me. So I have half-siblings but they still have another parent in their life.
I lost my mother when I was six in June of 1988. I was the one that found her. I found out much later in life that she was an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis of the liver. She was 36.
As a result, my Dad and I grew very close. We had almost 19 years together. He was closest with me than all his other children. He was a physician, so I spent a lot of my young life with him, following him around the hospital. When I moved away from college, we still talked every day, and he visited once a month. When I left the state to move here, we talked on the phone every single day and I'd see him 2-3 times a year. The last time I saw him was Dec. 2006 when he came to visit me.
My dad was a very hard working emergency room doctor. He always took care others before himself. I knew he loved his job but it was high stress and I knew he wasn't taking care of himself. I knew he had high blood pressure and was over weight. I'm pursing a career in nutrition and when I last saw him, I told him he needed to take care of himself because I was worried and I didn't want to lose him. And he told me he was going to try.
His death was sudden. He died 9 months ago today, on a Friday, January 26, 2007. I had last talked him on the phone 24 hours before.
To make all of this more tragic. My uncle, his brother, died the same day. Also a hard working physician.
That Friday morning, my dad had worked the night shift and was driving home, he received the call that his brother had collapsed and was unconscious. 15 minutes later he got the confirmation that his brother had died from a heart attack. We think within minutes the news precipitated my dad's heart attack, and my dad's car was found on the side of the highway and he was unconscious. According to their death certificates, they died within 30 minutes of each other. My Dad was 63 and his brother was 61.
It's been 9 months and I still can't believe both of them are gone.
I told my Dad the week before that my then boyfriend and I were going to get married in May. Our wedding day was the happiest day of my life, but the hardest because I was always prepared for my mom not to be there, and I always thought my dad would be.
I know I never dealt with my moms death properly and I knew once this happened that I needed to seek therapy immediately. I have very few memories of my mom but my Dad was a huge presence in my life and even though I didnÂt see him everyday, he was/is in my head everyday and I feel him in my heart right now. My heart that is so full of love but yet still broken.
And this may be very random, but if anyone watched last nightÂs GreyÂs AnatomyÂIt was a very hard episode to watch. George was telling a patient that if he could have given his Dad his heart he would have. And Meredith had her momÂs ashes. I had my DadÂs ashes for a few weeks before I decided to bury them, but she had spread her momÂs ashes in the scrubbing sinkÂ.and my dad was a surgeon. That opened up the flood gates.
I take it one day at a time and I know it will get better. I feel like there are more good days than bad, but those bad days still just, you know.
Getting through my wedding day was hard, but there is so much more in my life that is yet to come,Â whenever we have kidsÂ they will never truly know their grandparents.
Thank you for letting me share.