daddy where are you?

yacopsae22October 11, 2009

My father passed away suddenly Monday, October 5th, 2009. I am so angry, guilty, and sad among other feelings that i cannot hardly see straight. My heart and stomach just drop through my butt repeatedly throughout the day. I dont have the energy to describe to just you how FAR from supportive my mother(whom has been divorced from my father for 20 years) and my fiance have been. My friends are supportive, my brother and my step-mother have been there in the sense that we are all going through something horrible, but I dont know if any of us have the energy to really pretend like any one of us are well enough to tell the other things are ok. i feel like the only thing i can do is try to eat, try to occupy myself...but i cant lie, i feel helpless. i know you never get over it, but i hear that you learn to accept it some, that you move on. well...i dont know if i can beleive that. i want this nightmare to be over...i want my daddy to come home.

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Sorry, that is the truth. You grieve, go to grief counseling sessions, get help and accept the fact that he is not coming home but you can start putting down the memories. You and your family will survive. If you think you will never get over it you won't, but look for the good thoughts every day. Crying is good, but not to the point it destroys your health. It is healing.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2009 at 2:48PM
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True So true... time heals all wounds, with loss of a loved one, the memories of all of the good times really helps. Talk about them, even if they make you cry. Each day will get better and then one day it will hit you like a wave all the emotions for no apparent reason will come flooding back, it will seem as though you are right back where you started... That is normal. Start going through the process again even if it is just putting one foot in front of the other. Some days all I can do is what is directly in front of me. No worries though, because before I know it I am laughing about something again and realizing my loved ones are with me. Write ! writing helps me with all my emotions. Mostly anger, i will tend to misdirect my anger on occassion and think others are not being compassionate enough towards me when really some do not have a clue on how to deal with me. I am all over the place at times. My children tell me sometimes it is like walking on eggshells. So be patient with those who may not understand, they may be just doing the best they can. Now this may not be true for all, but for me, after I loss my mom 4 years ago I found as much as I appreciated those who were supportive it was time and going through the greiving process that got me through and now here I am again after loosing my dad 4 months ago flucuating with emotions again, and again there are many who are amazing with concern, but the nights and sometimes days still come in waves, some good, some real hard. Remember you are not alone and one day although you will always miss your dad there will be a day full of fondness and not so much pain. My thoughts and prayer will be with you and your family.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2009 at 4:31PM
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