Mommy. I miss you so much. Please help me guys

ginaexOctober 1, 2009

Where do i even start. This is all such a mess...

Im 17. My mother died on July 17 2009

She died of an oxicontin overdose, her doctor was giving her 60 pills a week...and it became to much for her

She was 35. Only 35...

She had 7 kids. Me being the oldest, and was JUST about to divorce my stepfather, who is now taking care of 6 kids

God. I have no idea what to do. I just cry. All day. I get so angry

I need her. Im 17...It wasnt her time.

I...Im losing my mind. I need some friendly words. Please, anything would help

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lynn_d

Gina, I wish I were able to pull you into my arms and give you a big hug. Is there an adult you can confide in, did mom have a sister? Or is her mom available to you? A best friend? You need a support system, perhaps a grief counselor.....

There's no easy way, Gina, I'm so sorry that you lost your mom, that is a very young age. I lost my mom about the same time, she was much older so perhaps not as tragic a loss as yours but a painful one. Find a clergy member or someone that you can talk to, cry with and who will hold you.

    Bookmark   October 1, 2009 at 3:10PM
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mariend

Again, if you are in HS, ask for help. Call the local YMCA, check churches for grief counseling and look for support groups. Be strong for your brothers and sisters. Who takes care of them when Dad works. You will survive if you choose to, but you do need outside support. Apparently Dad can't or will/will not help? The meds she was on is a very strong one and used for pain. What were her illnesses? Could you talk to the Dr's for help, without drugs?

    Bookmark   October 1, 2009 at 4:15PM
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markcjb

Gina, Lynn took the words out of my mouth. If I was near, I would take you in my arms and give you a big hug. She is right, You need to find someone you can talk to. At times in my life have I relied on my pastor to talk with. Find friends who will be supportive. Just know that god is with you. Have you ever heard of foot prints in the sand?

    Bookmark   October 2, 2009 at 1:36AM
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markcjb

I sincerely hope this message brings peace to you.

Footprints in the Sand
One night a man had a dream,
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed
scenes from his life.

For each scene he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to him and
the other to the LORD.

When the last scene flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He notice many times in his life there was
only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened to be at
the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and
he questioned the LORD about it.

"LORD, you said once I decided to follow You,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only ONE set of footprints.
I don't understand why
when I needed You the most
You would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
When you see only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

    Bookmark   October 2, 2009 at 2:12AM
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monkeyface

Gina,

My heart goes out to you. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that I have been in the exact same place as you before and it will not last forever. You'll have moments where you feel the world will go on turning and you'll stop and realize that you were just laughing and enjoying life. What everyone else has written is right, you should try to reach out to people around you but I do understand that that may be hard to do with other 17 year olds. You have already started by reaching out on this blog and I hope you feel listened to and supported by me.

I lost my dad when I was 10 and I just recently lost my mom. I know that it aches and it hurts and it feels there is no way to fill the hole in your chest. But just cry, write, talk, and feel it. I promise it will start to get easier, it will just take time. Try to find a good outlet for your feelings, this may be one of them (running has helped me a lot, drinking or numbing out in other ways does not).

My thoughts are with you. I'm lending you strength from afar. Post again if you'd like to keep a conversation going.

((((((((hugs)))))))))

    Bookmark   October 6, 2009 at 1:17PM
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auntyara

Gina,
I am sending you all the love and hope the internet can send.
My heart is breaking for you.
Please know you are in all of our thoughts.My daughter is 17 and I know she would be so lost. You are just a baby in so many ways. If you need some one to talk to, Please feel free to email me. My name is Laura but everyone calls me aunt Yara.
If you need an another aunt, I'm here.auntyara@yahoo.com
((((hugs))))

    Bookmark   October 9, 2009 at 11:48PM
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daysmitty

I miss my mommy too and I am 43 and lost her a month ago.
Gina no one can take the place of your mom, but I know you will have several who are like mommies to you.

lots of love your way

    Bookmark   October 19, 2009 at 6:08PM
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