consumned with grief
what do you do if your every waking thought is of your father, or everynight you dream of your dad alive, and not passed.
Last night I remember being in our old house and dad sitting awake in his recliner and mom sleeping on the couch and I am shaking mom awake "mom , dads alive, he came back". Similar dreams I have like this nightly,
I just feel so sad, I miss him so much, i continue fighting to find a way to live without dad, but its not one filled with happiness. not like it was before. on dads dying bed he told my pastor that robin (me) always found a way to be happy no matter what situation and being upbeat, but without dad here, he was so important in our lifes, i dont know if he relized what a jewel he was to us all, my mom, my husband, my girls, he was the strong hold, he was the piece to hold the puzzel in.
seeing mom breaks my heart. leaving my mom breaks it harder. the overwheliming task of becoming a widower. she is cleaning out his garage, oh how he had everything, I saw my dads unfinished woodwork he was going to do. a nightlight fo rmy girls.