Funeral pictures....appropriate???

alohalaniOctober 5, 2006

Just wondered if it's considered appropriate to have pictures of a loved ones funeral. My sister in law wanted some taken during my brother's funeral & burial. Not close ups or anything, they were of the flowers & casket as it was lowered into the ground, & also a couple of distant pictures of the group of people that were there. (I was adamant that there were no pictures taken of him during the viewing.)

At first I was a little offended, but now that it's been 3 months, I asked her for a CD copy just to put in a box of momentos. I did take a brief look at them, it brought back all the raw feelings of sadness & grief & re-living the funeral itself. It was almost like a reality check too in the sense that sometimes we also go through the "I can't believe he's really gone" days & looking the the pictures confirms that the death really happened & our loved ones are really gone.

It all still feels like a huge nightmare....

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I can't think of any reason why photographs would be inappropriate. When my daughter Jill died, a friend who is a professional videographer offered to shoot a video of the memorial service, and another friend brought his video camera. So I have two videos. I've only watched them once, but I'm grateful to have a record of what was a very beautiful gathering at which many people spoke.

You're probably aware that in the early days of photography a portrait was often taken of the deceased. Many times this was the only photograph the family had of that person.

My sympathy on the loss of your brother.


    Bookmark   October 5, 2006 at 8:45AM
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I have a few pictures of my mother's funeral, the flowers and a few people. They are nice to have, but I think I've only looked at them a few times over the years. I think it's good to take a few pictures.

    Bookmark   October 5, 2006 at 7:45PM
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One of my son's good friends, a professional photographer, took pictures at the reception following our son's and granddaughter's funeral. He included some other photos he had of Dave and Millie and put them on a DVD. He gave us one, and we bought one for each of our other boys. I saw the photos on the internet, but we haven't looked at the DVD yet. I'm glad to have it, though. Maybe someday, we'll be ready to look at it.

    Bookmark   October 6, 2006 at 9:19AM
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I took pictures of my mom in her casket (she looked beautiful) and family members standing next to her. We also videoed the funeral service.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. I wish I had taken pictures of my daughter, Christin, but I guess I just didn't think of it.

    Bookmark   October 6, 2006 at 10:46PM
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i so much wish i remembered my camera for my dads service, so I could always remember what the flowers looked like set up, and his eagle picture flying above, . when i relized i didnt have my camera i tried so hard to commit everything to memory. I am glad you have something to look back on when its not so painful (()))

    Bookmark   October 7, 2006 at 12:53PM
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We have a DVD of Alissa's service which includes the service itself, the picture presentation (like a slide show) and then they had set up a video camera at the reception for people to share memories of Alissa. We also have pictures of Alissa from her viewing that my brother-in-law took. Those are tucked away in an envelope in my Bible. I don't really think any of the things that have been mentioned are inappropriate; whatever we need to help us in a healthy way through the grief process is OK. My regret is that I didn't get a lock of her hair before she was cremated.

    Bookmark   October 7, 2006 at 3:43PM
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