Still Coping with a Big Hole in My Life
Lost one of my best lifelong friends back in February. (Valentine's Day, to be exact.) She was a breast cancer patient in 1999, underwent chemo, radiation, surgery and stem cell transplant. Some of the medication that she took caused bone degeneration and she was having ongoing problems with a jawbone. In June of last year she was diagnosed with leukemia. She underwent a bone marrow transplant in January and died from complications from that. (donor vs. host disease, etc.)
I'm 57 and this is two of my lifelong friends that I have lost. This woman's death has been the worst loss I've ever dealt with. I've lost all my grandparents, most of my aunts and uncles and my dad. That was all awful, of course, but expected. Angie was my one friend who could always make me laugh, always listened. We shared the same warped sense of humor, etc.
Another friend and I call each other even more often than we used to. We say that we're using each other as a substitute for Angie and, in a way, we are. We've also been friends for over 45 years, but each of us had our own place in our circle of friends.
It's been almost 7 months and, in a way, I'm taking it worse now than I did at the very beginning.
Don't expect any ready made answers to this. I know everybody on this forum is dealing with their own grief and pain. Just needed to talk and, I guess, be told that I'm not crazy and it will get better.
Warm hugs to all of you going through your own journeys. My dad always said that death was "just a part of living", but it's sure hard on those of us who are left, isn't it!?