I just found this site, and it's great

mamanookSeptember 30, 2006

My name is Sharon, and I am having one of those "Black Hole" days. My Mom and sister died last month, 15 days apart. I am so lonesome for them- they were my best supporters ( My husband and I have two kids, teenagers- Sara, 19 has Down Syndrome, and Patrick, 16, has Autism and a seizure disorder). Patrick has been really acting up this morning, so I know that is contributing to my general outlook. Not being able to call them, especially my mom is and has been SO hard. I know that time heals all, and most days I do great, I'm just very down today.

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alisande

Sharon, you have, as they say, a lot on your plate. Losing either your mom or your sister would be hard; you had both together. And you have a lot to handle at home. Do you belong to a support group for parents of autistic kids?

I'm thinking it might help if you could write about this. Keeping a "vent journal" has helped me. You could also write to your mother and sister, telling them what you would tell them in a phone call, and more.

Hope you'll stick around this site.

Susan

    Bookmark   September 30, 2006 at 6:47PM
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mamanook

Hi Susan, thanks so much for responding. I am feeling much better now than I was this morning. I can usually keep things in good perspective, but this morning I guess I just
allowed things to pile up. We have belonged to various support groups over the years, and they have always been a tremendous source of understanding and empathy. The rest of my family, one (sounds so strange to say "one"!) sister and two brothers are just wonderful also.
I like very much, your idea about writing to my mom and sister. I actually started doing that, as a matter of fact, right after my sister died, and I only did it once, but I remember that it did feel good. I need to start again. Thanks again and have a good evening. Sharon

    Bookmark   September 30, 2006 at 10:49PM
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starduster

My you do have a lot to think about. A mother and a sister. How sad for you. These things happen in such a mysterious way. I sure do know that feeling of lonliness. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call my brothere, He's just not there. I have no one much to share my grief. I sure miss him. He was so dear to me. I raised him after my parents died and then he dies at age 39 from sudden heart problems. How can all us siblings outlive the baby of the family. How can this be. What about God's plan for everyone? It sure gives me doubts and has made me very depressed. He was going to have Children... Oh, I miss him so, he was like a son to me. Damn.

Star

    Bookmark   October 2, 2006 at 11:16AM
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mamanook

Hi Star- I am so, so very sorry for the loss of your beloved brother. It must be like losing a son, also, since you raised him. Sometimes I too, feel myself wanting to question why my mom and sister had to die, and I have to tell myself that it is simply God's will. I know that can be hard to accept- it is a true test of faith. It sounded like you might have other siblings? If so, maybe talking to one of them could help? Sometimes, what really helps me is knowing that neither my mom nor my sister would want me to be so down and sad. Also, thinking about something funny that one of them once said or did, or thinking about something we once did together that was fun- these things help too. My heart goes out to you- you will be in my prayers.
Peace- Sharon

    Bookmark   October 2, 2006 at 9:38PM
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