5 years later still sucks

johnsboySeptember 9, 2007

my dad died five years ago. i find myself still staying up late, maybe having too much to drink, thinking about it. To this day i can't believe he's gone. i've turned my life upside down, moved out of state away from my family, i don't know what else to do. i guess it will never go away. if i die tomorrow, it won't bother me because i'll get to see him. i told my wife that one night, in the heat of the moment after a very vivid dream. that's messed up, but true. i would give anything to see him again, including my own life. If i didn't have a wife and children, i would have already done it. please tell me someone else has these feelings for so many years after the fact.

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alisande

Have you seen a counselor about this? If not, I think you should find a good one. If you're already seeing one, perhaps you should look for another. Yours is clearly a multi-issue situation, impossible to address here.

Your screen name strikes me as significant: Johnsboy. As a husband and a father, you have assumed a man's role in the world. Although one would hope your "inner boy" is still very much alive and well, he shouldn't dominate. If this sounds tough on you, it's because I think it's time to start living the life I'm sure your dad would want for you. For the sake of everyone in your family, including yourself and your father's spirit, please get some help.

    Bookmark   September 9, 2007 at 11:05AM
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solstice98

Johnsboy - I agree with Alisande's advice. It's time to seek some real help. A counselor may be able to help you figure out why you are still struggling with this 5 years after your father's passing.

    Bookmark   September 10, 2007 at 12:56AM
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