how do I deal with well-meaning people?
I'm going through a really rough time right now. My husband and I are going through our second miscarriage. it's particularly devastating because we have been trying for many years to have a family and we've been through numerous IVF and IUI treatments.
This time was so heartbreaking because we had to literally wait for the baby to die. The doctor knew it wasn't growing properly, but yet there was a slow heartbeat. So he knew it wasn't going to make it but he couldn't say when. We had to go back three times over 2-1/2 weeks until we were told yesterday that the baby was really dead.
I have a D&C scheduled for Wednesday.
My question to you guys is - how do you handle everyone who keeps trying to give advice/see how I'm doing/etc. My sister-in-law tried to console me and ended up saying something really dumb - she told me that maybe this was a blessing in disguise since the hormones I'd been taking made me gain 10 lbs and I'd been wanting to lose the weight. She said that now that I wasn't pregnant, I could lose the weight more easily. I was so stunned, I actually found myself saying, "yeah, that's true..." to her as my mind tried to comprehend what she'd just said.
I really want people to just say they're sorry and leave it at that. Or not call me at all. But then if they don't call I get mad at that, too.
People keeping telling me that grief is cyclical and not linear. So I think I'm doing better and then, boom, I'm worse again. I was just healing emotionally from my last miscarriage when this one happened.
Thanks...I guess I'm just venting, mostly. I cried tonight while watching Adoption Stories. It was so beautiful to see a family get their baby girls. It made me think about my dead embryo and it made me so sad.