i lost my mother & brother

lilywhiteroseAugust 22, 2008

My mom passed away on 7/13/2008, 19 days later my brother was found dead. I'm having a very difficult time dealing with this. I wake up each morning thinking this is only a dream then i realize its a nightmare that i cannot wake up from. My mom had many medical issues so it wasn't totally unexpected. My brother's passing was so unexpected. Though he was so fragile I never expected this to happen. He was only in his early 40's. I truly believe he died of a brokern heart. He lived w/ my Mom his whole life. Does dying of a broken heart really exist? Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am. Its amazing how you let people see what you want them to see. I wish I was as strong as everyone thinks I am. Hopefully this forum will assist me with my grieving and healing.

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jampack

Lilywhiterose, I am sorry for your losses. I'm sure it must seem like a nightmare, but as time passes we learn to cope with the pain. Do you have other family support?

My spiritual belief is that we will all meet again, hopefully, in Heaven and can look forward to that. Your brother is with your mother again. Can you find peace in that?

Come here anytime won't you?

Peace to you and yours,
Jan

    Bookmark   August 24, 2008 at 5:27AM
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darzie

I'm so sorry. This has to be such a shock to your system. Just take one day at a time, that's the only way you can get through this, you could seek grieve counseling , I didn't yet and my mother died 6 months ago. But you were hit with a double loss so it might be a good thing to consider. And yes I think you could die from a broken heart!

    Bookmark   August 24, 2008 at 9:13PM
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goldilocs

oh my, hard to know just the right words to say. Your loss is tremendous, and the pain must be unending. I know some will tell you time will help heal what you are feeling but I am not so sure. I think you may learn to deal with your losses, but the heatache and loss never leave you. I sometimes think that is our way of making sure we don't forget the ones we loved so dearly. I just lost my grandmother on 7/29/08. This too was a huge loss to me. She was what I would call my biggest cheerleader. I have yet to cry my eyes out for I fear if I start I may never stop. I am taking it one day at a time and pulling myself up by my bootstraps each day. I know your mom and your brother would want you to do the same. I do believe in dieing from a broken heart. People who are so tightly connected in life can't survive without the other. It happens alot with married people so I imagine a child could have those feelings with a parent. Do you have any other siblings? Are you married? Do you need a shoulder? Feel free to contact me directly. I feel your pain in my heart.

    Bookmark   August 25, 2008 at 11:58PM
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lilywhiterose

Thank you all for your kind and comforting words. I know I haven't corresponded since my initial posting. Its been hard, extremely hard. Some days are good and then the bad days erupt. I am still numb and feel empty and angry.

I am however, blessed when it comes to friends, but its not the same. I miss they both. My mom and I may not have been close at the end, but I did love her despite our differences. She was difficult and hard to please. I know that I did all I could, even though it rarely seemed to be good enough. Its painful for me to talk about my brother..still so many unanswered questions. Some questions may never be answered. Obviously, nothing changes the end result.

I don't know why I decided to return to this forum again. Perhaps I don't want to burden my friends with my heavy heart. They have been so supportive and wonderful that I just don't want them to see this side of me. I want and need them to believe that I am OKAY. They worry so much about me and I don't want to add to it.

thank you for letting me express these feelings and for listening to me.

    Bookmark   October 7, 2008 at 11:18PM
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