A sort of Home Decor vent

lyfiaJune 16, 2014

So my husbands recliner is pretty worn out so as a Father's day gift I decided to give him a new one. I'm venting here as he is a a really good guy and I don't want to say anything about it to my real life friends. Just doesn't seem fair.

He is for some reason pretty set on Lazboy. Not sure why he won't consider others, guessing so he can replace them more often and not feel quilty. We started the search more than 6 months ago and I told him as long as it was the same scale as what we have now. He went and found one that he liked that is 6 inches taller than what he has now. Not exactly the same scale to me. Depth was only an extra inch (matters with walking path though) and width was just fine, but it would stick out as a sore thumb among our other furniture as that would make it more than 6" taller than the chair on the other side of the table of it or more than a foot taller than the other furniture in the room. To me it wouldn't fit scale wise. So I let it be for a while and then decided to make a list of all the ones with dimensions that would work or weren't too far off. I didn't even bother with how it looks, even if I didn't like the style I included it. I went through every single one on Lazboys website and put on a sheet of paper and said pick one.

He was going to stop on his way today to test them and I got a message back with only x fit me so I added y (5" too deep) and z, where z is the too tall one again. I already told him 6 months ago it was too tall. I texted back that it doesn't fit and he just said it fits me perfect.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr - Why couldn't he just say OK out of that list x fits me so lets get that one.

edit: Just got a text that said never mind then. I'm not sure how to take that one so I will take it in a positive way - although I have a feeling that is not how it was meant. He wants that darn z chair and I don't want a throne in our open floorplan.

This post was edited by lyfia on Mon, Jun 16, 14 at 18:41

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chispa

The man who invented/designed the Lazboy recliner must have hated women!!

Luckily my DH isn't a recliner fanatic, so we haven't had that particular issue, but we've had a few other décor issues.

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 6:58PM
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lyfia

LOL chispa.

I'm even open to having this ugly thing in my house (no matter the style, I prefer some over others) because I'm not the only one that lives here, but why, why can't he get the issue of scale.

Any suggestions now that I'm calming down some as there are worse things in life on how to reasonably resolve our differences when it comes to this item. Should I just let him have it?

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 7:08PM
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LucyStar1

He told you that X fits him. Did he tell you why he doesn't want that one?

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 7:44PM
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Annie Deighnaugh

If the mechanism and frame is still sound, you can get it reupholstered...may actually save you some money vs. buying new....

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 9:47PM
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mtnrdredux_gw

The good news is that, through sheer Darwinism, the male-linked gene that controls recliner lust will be bred out, as all the men with that trait are killed off (or simply starved) by irate wives.

I would try shopping together.

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 9:54PM
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texanjana

LOL, Mtn. You are hilarious. Lyfia, you are right it could be worse. The recliner could be camo!

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 10:50PM
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chispa

Issue of scale ... I'm sure the answer will be "bigger is better"!

DH and I constantly shuffle the coffee table ... he wants it close to put his feet up and I want it a bit further out so it doesn't feel cramped and looks better! Don't even get me started on the hvac thermostat ... it is miserable to always be cold in your house ...

    Bookmark   June 16, 2014 at 10:59PM
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Olychick

As one of my friends says...heterosexuality is a miracle.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 12:44AM
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sheilaaus122

I hear you loud and clear. We did have a super comfy recliner which was not a thing of beauty but so comfy that it didn't matter. After many years of use, and contemplating reupholstering, my husband got rid of it. We have never found one again as comfy but I kind of recognize that he is "owed" a recliner.
I tried to suggest some of the high leg recliners as they are so much prettier, but alas they are NOT comfy for him. At present, we do not have one, but we did notice when staying at a hotel, that the leather chair and ottoman was extremely comfy. Looking in stores, though, the only thing he thought was comfy (and he does not want leather-) and fabric was the Ikea Poang chair. I don't love that one either, and we still haven't found one,(it's way too modern for my taste but oh well)

So my elusive point is---------- I have decided that I will try very hard to see the recliner/comfy chair as a fixture similar to a perhaps awkwardly placed vent. It's there, it functions, we don't love it but we don't dwell on it.

Here is a link that might be useful: this is the chair ottoman type he thought was comfy

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 7:49AM
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Kitch4me

Well, you can tell him if he gets that recliner you will have to buy a new chair to match the scale ;)

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 8:42AM
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tinam61

"Should I just let him have it?" Let him have it? Does he need permission? I'm sorry you do not like his choice(s), but try to see his side. He lives in the house also, and I'm assuming he works and helps to pay for the house and the furniture. He's entitled to a piece of furniture that he finds comfortable. I agree with the suggestion of shopping together.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 9:42AM
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lyfia

ROFLOL at some of the comments and I'm glad I'm not alone.

I would go shopping with him, but am on crutches and not allowed to put any load on my foot. Maybe on Friday when the cast hopefully comes off we could stop by on our way home from the Doctors. Then I can also measure how far it extends out when it is fully reclined.

The problem with scale is not just looking out of place, but also provide plenty of walking space especially when fully reclined. I need space to not feel claustrophobic and when the current one is reclined it does encroach on our walking space. Add 6" to that and it will be tight. Dimensions are important other than looks too. He generally is very good about dimensions or stuff, but when it comes to this recliner thing it is like the common sense just went out the window.

I guess I could turn around the question of why shouldn't we by the one he wants to why don't I have everything in the house I want. We both have to compromise at times. There are things I've had to compromise on because he didn't like what I wanted.

We are lucky in general that we tend to like the same things and both generally willing to compromise. Except for this recliner thing.

AnnieD... - he wants a power one with a power lumbar, plus the cost is not worth it.

This post was edited by lyfia on Tue, Jun 17, 14 at 11:09

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 11:06AM
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deniseandspike

I would suggest searching out different brands that fit your requirement and then going to the store to let him try them out. It's possible he could find something comfortable and within your size range in something other than Lazyboy. I understand it's more than just the decorating look that's the problem--it's the amount of space it occupies.

We went through the same thing and finally ended up with the Flexsteel Runway. It was so comfortable we both got one. After going to the showroom that had multiple brands, we realized there is a real difference in comfort level between not only the brands, but the chair models.

After he finds something comfortable and the right size, you can always price shop online. We always buy leather furniture so I've found the best prices by using www.maplesleather.com. She has always beat local prices even with shipping costs. Not all of her stock is listed on her website but she can email you a quote if you are looking for leather.

I don't see it as a bad compromise to search out different brands to find both comfort and fit.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 11:07AM
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lazy_gardens

why, why can't he get the issue of scale.

Maybe you need a smaller husband?

Which is more important to you ... the perfect LR scale and appearance or a comfortable chair your husband likes?

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 11:27AM
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lyfia

Well I want him to be comfortable, but I also need space to walk around and I don't think that is too much to ask, is it?

It should fit him and be comfortable and also fit in the house so the rest of us can walk around it comfortably too. I'd prefer it to not look out of place too, but at this point I've resigned myself to that it will no matter what.

D - I've tried that, but he just doesn't seem open to going anywhere else. Not sure why. Maybe if I can find a place that have a large amount of different types (that are power recliners) to try at once then he'd be more open to going. He doesn't like shopping so I'm guessing that is why he just wants lazboy. They have a large variety.

Edit: Since we have one now that fit him (6 ft tall - not huge otherwise) in the right scale (actually smaller than many of the ones on the list), I know it is possible, just less choices, but not impossible to find one if you are a bit open to the choices in that it may not be your dream choice.

This post was edited by lyfia on Tue, Jun 17, 14 at 12:06

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 11:53AM
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chispa

No need to beat up on the OP! She did say it was a vent/frustration and obviously most of us here, who care about décor, have experience with disagreements and compromises with other family members in the house regarding décor choices. Do we really need to tell her what is more important?

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 11:59AM
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anele_gw

You know what frustrates me the most? It's that I, too, would care. And I don't like that I care! My life would be better/easier/cheaper if I weren't affected so much by my surroundings. This would be true for me even if I lived in complete isolation.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 12:50PM
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nancybee_2010

Anele you are so right!

We had this issue- he wanted a recliner that looked like a black leather car seat to me. I must admit I wasn't sad when it turned out to be too low to be comfortable. I tried to put pillows and afghans on it to make it blend in with our traditional stuff. It made me so uncomfortable that it didn't fit in! And I wish I didn't feel this way. If he would have loved it we would have kept it and I hope it would have stopped bothering me so much!

good luck with this lyfia.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 1:39PM
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DLM2000

lyfia - you do remember the GI Thong Dance, don't you? When all else fails..... ;-)

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 2:37PM
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lyfia

Deb - that sure would be nice if I could employ, but I'm incapacitated at the moment. Don't think one legged and on crutches would have the same effect. Plus it would hurt.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 4:00PM
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chispa

LOL, Lyfia at least you still have your sense of humor!

Have you considered some stronger painkillers? You would have no pain and the recliner might appear cool and groovy! Sadly it wouldn't be permanent and after the effects wore off you would be back here posting the same message again! ;-)

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 6:11PM
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justgotabme

I didn't realize you were from the old GI on MSN groups Lyfia. What was your nickname there? I was DesigngingMom.
That aside, I can see both sides of this. When we were building this home, we decided there were two rooms my hubby had last say on. I could make suggestions, but if he didn't like it, that was the end of the conversation. The rooms being, the Gentlemans' Parlor and the Library, which is his home office. I pretty much have the rest of the house, but we also compromise. Allot.
That being said, if you have two living spaces, it's something to think about.
Does the chair on the other side of the table from his recliner get used often? If so, is there any other way you can move the furniture to allow enough space for the recliner of his dreams? If not, then can it go elsewhere in the house, or possibly sell it?
Personally, I love recliners. When buying new furniture for the GP, I did break the rule mentioned above, by insisting he seriously think about a loveseat recliner to replace the two we had. He wasn't thrilled about sharing "his" chair, but found a double reclining sofa and love seat recliner set that was just what he wanted. He has told me many times over, how happy he is we have it. You see we love snuggling and napping in that loveseat recliner. Actually, that could solve your problem too.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2014 at 7:06PM
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lyfia

B I'm sorry I didn't see this until now. Hopefully you have figured out from FB by now who I am.

Just thought I'd update on how this ended. Didn't go shopping with him that weekend. Still a bit painful to walk even though I got the go ahead to try and such a pain to go with the crutches. Then I decided to just let it slide for a bit to try to introduce looking at other brands. My DH can be stubborn and resist change, but often comes around after a while if I give other options. He just needs to take his time. Well that happened a lot quicker than normal thanks to him stopping by his parents to pick up garden fresh veggies as they had gotten new furniture and turned out some flexsteel recliners. We didn't have time to go until yesterday, but did find some that fit him and also fit into the living room. We also found a few options for sofas as we have been looking for that for about 6 months as well. Hard to mesh our schedules and neither of us likes furniture shopping. Hopefully our number one choice is not discontinued and have fabric options we like. Should hear back tomorrow.

In the end it has a very happy ending.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2014 at 8:38PM
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susie100

That's a pretty nice looking recliner (and I usually don't care for the look of recliners). Reminds me of an English gentleman's club.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2014 at 11:23AM
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lyfia

Thanks Susie. It is not bad looking for a rocker recliner. Way better than what we had.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2014 at 9:44PM
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Elraes Miller

My husband had a chair/ottoman similar to an eames chair. He mulled this over for 6 mos. The chair lasted forever and had a lifetime warranty which they came through on when it was 20 years old from a broken weld. I did recover it once, and easy task.

In all honesty, I would love to have the chair back again, my son received it and still in great condition. And I hate recliners too. But this chair fit well in the scheme of our decor which is a bit rustic.

Have you looked at Scandinavian products? They are very well made and offered in many designs. Also cuts down on the maze of what is available for more focus towards what may be more acceptable to you. And easier for your guy to see/feel same.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2014 at 7:22AM
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