Feeling helpless (long)
On June 10th, I was a happy grandmother and grandmother to be! On that day I was hosting a baby shower for my daughter Robyn.This would be Robyn's third, she also has a stepchild. The baby was due on June 17th (father's day) but could come at anytime according to the doctors.. We all had a ball and when the baby kicked we all took turns feeling her belly. I also found out my other daughter Angel was also pregnant with her first, due around Christmas! My two daughters who are as close as twins sat there chatting away about babies and how their kids would grow up like sisters. Three days later my daughter Robyn's baby, my granddaughter was stillborn. The doctors are calling it prebirth SIDS since they can find no medical evidence why it happened.
My other daughter has found it hard to be happy about being pregnant because she can't share it with her sister. Robyn says she is excited for her sister but you can tell it stings a little (or a lot). I feel so helpless since I live a distance away the only time I see them is when they're together. How can I be excited for one while the other is grieving? How do I make it better for them.
Robyn called me the other day angry because she went to the store and she said "all the women are pregnant there or had babies. I should have a baby too! I was the one who did everything by the book, I shouldn't have had to come home from the hospital with my arms empty and having to plan a funeral!" I told her I was sorry that she felt that way and that I wish I could make it better but she couldn't really want those mothers to not have baby's either. She calmed down after. Both my daughters are hurting and I am at a loss what to do.
I call everyday and let them talk, so they can vent. Robyn has good days but has really bad days too. Angel just feels sad because she wants so badly to share her pregnancy with her sister but is afraid to hurt her. She says all the plans they had made for Christmas won't be the same and how can we pretend any other way.
Thank you friends for listening