Losing two loved ones within 4 months
I lost my father, Jose age 79 in April of this year and my sister,Estrellita age 54 this past Thursday. We all lived together.
Into everyone's life, if they live long enough, will come their fair share of pain and loss and grief. Loss happens to everyone. It is not selective of age, race, creed, color, size, education, economic and social status, religion, or beauty. It is a guarantee that comes with living.
It is part of life. Part of living is feeling joy as well as pain. It is through feeling pain that we learn to truly appreciate and embrace the joy in our lives.
Thus, into everyone's life will come joy and laughter and dancing.
It is because of our pain that we can appreciate and embrace the joy.
Divorce recovery teaches that when you get tired of being sick and tired, you will reach the point where you decide to do something about getting out of the bottomless pit that you have been in. With a divorce, there comes a time, after you have done the proper amount of grieving, when you have to quit wallowing in your pain and get up and get back to your life. You have to reach the point where you have grieved all that you can and must, and you start a new life. You have a forge forward with a new life without that previous partner.
The other person has done that, probably long before you did.
When you have reached this point, you will know it. You will be ready to move on.
With death, you will grieve for them, and you will mourn. It is the natural and right thing to do. Your grief process is as unique and as individual as you are. You will grieve in your own way, and you cannot expect everyone else to conform to your expectations of grief. Nor should anyone else presume to tell you how you should grieve or how long you should mourn or how you should feel. Eventually, you will come to realize that you have grieved long enough, and that you are alive, and that your deceased loved one would not want you to mourn forever. They are off this plane of life and have moved on to a much higher plane.
It is up to us to live our own lives until it is our time to go. Death is a natural part of the phases of life, the part of a plan that we are not always meant to understand but must accept. The great ones die as well as the common man. Nobody is immortal. No matter how hurt we are, or how hard it is at first to accept that we have lost our loved one, we have to somehow come to accept that it was that person's time to go in the grand scheme of things. We owe it to ourselves to move on by continuing our lives until it is our time to go. Nobody said it will be easy, but the time will come when we will let go and move on. We can and will find happiness and fulfillment if we do our grieving and then work hard to move on with our lives. It is up to us to fulfill our destiny.