Oh God I miss my family!I can not stop crying tonight, my heart hurts... Momma, I need you. I lost it.
That hole in my heart is open so wide tonight.
What happened to bring it up again? I was just sitting here writing a letter to a new friend and was telling him about chicken salad... I have just lost my mind. Its just chicken salad for heavens sake...
In my family we were all fairly poor. So when events came up, like new babies, old folks passing, birthdays, anniversarys, weddings, reunions Mothers day, harvest. any type of ocasion, we had chicken salad. That wasnt all we had. Course there was all kinds of food, not just that damn chicken salad.
Why am I falling apart over this? What is wrong with me?
What would have happened if I'd talked about piminto cheese or diveled eggs? Would I still have fallen apart.?
I miss you Momma. I'm here Momma and I just miss you and it feels like my chest is going to bust wide open!
I'm sorry I didnt mean to loose it.
Next month when we go to clean the cemetary, it will be my turn to bring the snacks. I guess I will make all those foods that remind me so much of family. Maybe I wont brake down then.... maybe I will get it all our tonight...
It just surprised me, thats all. Its just chicken salad.