Afraid to look at my Mom's death certificate

socal2010August 3, 2009

My mom passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago. I'm still afraid to look at her death certificate. She had some health problems that we've been watching for years but ironically she didn't die from those. She has an undiagnosed tumor in her lungs. Now I'm scared to see what the cause of death is. I know if will say something about the tumor but I'm afraid it will be other things too, maybe something that could have been prevented.

Tomorrow my stepdad and I were going to the bank to close out her accounts, and they want to see the certificate. I'm so scared to bring it with me. It doesn't make any sense at all since it's not going to change anything no matter what is listed.

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Just fold it up and put it in a folder to give to the bank. Thank you for the sweet things you said to me about my family.
Brother bought a condo and sister went to live at her daughters house.
I helped my sister pack up all the stuff left behind and we had some huge yard sales. But I dragged home tons of stuff in boxes. I only had a path thru my back bedroom. It has taken me a year to go through those boxes and I still have a hard time with the paperwork. I have to wonder why I felt the need to keep the things I did... what 50 yr old woman needs 12 hammers?
There is something about seeing death on paper that makes it too real for me. I can not pretend if its in black and white on an official document...
Looking back at those first days after Momma died, I don't know how we did it, we just did what we had to do.... I had to call everyone I love and find out where they were, know they were safe. I did this every day and sometimes several times a day for months. I made them all say aloud that they promised me they would not die within a year.
I still have all that paperwork, it isnt going anywhere. I put it in a big manillia envelope in a box labeled 'stuff to sort thru later'
Know that you are loved by many people and be open to those unexpected friends who will love you through this time.
sending you love and peace... Vicki

    Bookmark   August 3, 2009 at 2:34AM
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