losing my momma...my best friend
My mom was diabetic and she had several other illnesses. She was 55 when she passed away may 11, 2013. For the past year I helped my dad take care of her. Monday, may 6, 2013 I took her to the doctor. She was fine until we arrived and had to sit and wait for a while. Her blood sugar dropped and so did her oxygen level. The instructed me to take her to the ER. So I did. The doctors put her on oxygen and raised her blood sugar. At this point she was still mobile and able to talk. The next day (may 7th) was my oldest daughters 16th birthday. My mom was now on an oxygen mask instead of the one that sat in her nose. But she was so excited bout her granddaughter turning 16 and she told every nurse, doctor, and anyone who came in her room about it. The next day (may 8th) she was having even more difficulty breathing. She was barely talking and was having dementia like behavior but still seemed to be alright. On the 9th of may her dementia symptoms just about destroyed me. The nurse asked mom what my name was and mom told her. Then the nurse asked how I was related to mom...she didn't know. Later she became frustrated because she didn't want to wear the oxygen mask and so they gave her meds to calm her. The next day (may 10th) she couldn't talk at all and barely responded to anyone but still fought the oxygen mask. By that night the doctors had sedated her and put her on a ventilator. 4:00 am on that dreadful day (may 11th) the icu called dad cuz her stats had dropped and they had to put in a central line. We sat in tge waiting room for hours. Now there was nothing coming from mom. They said it was becuz she was sedated. I looked into her eyes and I knew otherwise but I said nothing to anyone. At some point I went home to check on my daughter and as I got in my door dad cakled and we had to get back to the hospital. Her stats were dropping despite the central line. It was around 3 pm I think when I asked the nurse if mom was still sedated. I asked cuz the meds in her iv were different...his answer...she hadn't been sedated since 8 am. I already knew before that she was gone as I saw nothing in her eyes...this confirmed it for me. Almost my whole family was there and I laid my head on my mom as her vitals dropped...I held her hand and told her I loved her as she flat lined. The sound it made when they took her off the ventilator was horrendous and I can say that I cannot be around an air compressor ever again. At 5 pm may 11, 2013 my mother officially flew to heaven.
I am an only child and my mother was my best friend. I cannot get the vision of her from my mind. I cannot get rid of the sounds from my mind. I barely sleep cuz all I dream of her every night. I miss her more everyday and I have to hold it all in so I dont upset my dad or my kids.