Father passed away when I was 11

metallicat108July 24, 2009

When I was 11 (14 years ago) my father passed away after living with ALD all his life, a combination of the disease and a heart attack took his at 43. Growing up my parents split when I was 2 and I lived with my mother and step father, only seeing my dad one Sunday every two weeks. After his death I thought about him every day, cried for years after and have visited the crematorium every year. Over the last couple of years there are days when I don't think about him, as if I'm forgetting, does this make me a bad son? When I get drunk I get very emotional and all I do is cry for my father. I want to get to know him better, see him one last time.

A couple of months ago I had the most vivid dream where he was suddenly alive, I talked to him, he met my fiance and even though I knew he was dead I was just so happy he was alive. I remember waking up actually smiling and thinking for a split second where dream and reality crossed that I have never been so happy in all my life, I had my father back. It feels like I time hasn't done a great deal apart from make me want to see him again so much more painful. Can I get on with my life and still remember and love my father?

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sylviatexas1

You can't do anything else;
your father has appeared to you in a dream,
& "given his blessing" to your fiancee & marriage;
accept it & go on.

    Bookmark   July 27, 2009 at 4:28PM
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youngestdaughter

Yes honey, you can go on. You have seen you Father alive, and now have a confermation that life goes on beyond death. Ask his friends and family to write you his stories. Or to just tell you his stories. It will help you to know him as a man, as a person, as a father. Collect thier memories and all the photos you can get your hands on. Research him.
You may not want to hear this part but I have to say it any way so here goes... Stop drinking. It does not help.
Getting drunk will break your spirit quicker than anything else you expierence in this life, only you wont see it until its too late.
Sending you prayers, and peace of mind.
Vicki

    Bookmark   August 3, 2009 at 3:12AM
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