Just lost my loved one

BeautyTverJuly 5, 2011

My husband has passed away very recently at a very young age (in his twenties) and I still don't realize it at all and I am in denial. I was in a different country than him for a while now and I feel like I have lost him twice. We have had many problems when I was there with him and I went back to college in my country to give us some time to think things over, but lately we've been talking constantly telling each other how much we truly loved and missed one another.

I always knew from the moment I saw him for the first time that he was gonna be mine...forever. We fell in love deeply and believe me... It was magic. I didn't even know that love like that was possible until I met him... my baby forever in time. I was so hearbroken when I stayed in my country, I did that because at that point I knew it was the only right thing to do...he needed time on his own to think things over.

I was in such depression...wanted to die. I didn't see any sense in my life without him in it. To say I was devastated is to say nothing at all. I felt like my whole world had fallen apart as cliche as it may sound.

As time went by I got into routine of college...but never ever did I forget him, not a night went by without me crying over missing him. We always kept in contact though but not on the same terms as before.

Just a few months ago he called me telling me how much he truly missed me and loved me... His voice was trembling and I knew how serious he was. We had a long talk and decided that our lives would never be the same without each other. He was gonna come here for a visit soon, and then after I graduate from college I would go back to him.

We both were so excited and happy. He would text me in the mornings just to say good morning... and that he loves me.

The last text message I got from him was "I love you by the way". The next day I found out that he died. I was crushed. Still am. Don't know how to go on...

All this time I have missed him dearly and suffered so much, I didn't even realize that this pain was possible. Now I realize that there is even a greater pain and nothing but pain.

I need to talk to someone...

E-mail me if you want at ccsgirl1985@gmail.com

Thank you for reading my long story.


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I'm so sorry.

Take care of yourself & be kind to yourself.

You write beautifully;
writing down your remembrances, just a little each day, often helps.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   July 8, 2011 at 1:29PM
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