It will get easier
When my mother passed away it was very hard, you see we were never relly close until about one year before she passed.I found myself at the cemetary[sorry if spelling is bad] everyday.Well one day an older man came over to me and apologized for interrupting me and said to me it gets a little easier everyday but everyday you will still feel like it was only yesterday.This man had been there everyday for five years,never missing a day no matter what.It has been 11 years since my mom passed and I often ask myself will the pain ever go away.The other day the mans daughter was at the cemetary and stopped to speak to me. She told me the reason her father was not there was because he is very ill, and asked her if she seen me to tell me that it wasn't the pain I was feeling it was the memories that were still alive and to never ask for them to be gone. This touched me very hard and made me think, and yes it is when I think of things that happened good or bad that I cry the most. I guess what I learned is not to let the pain take away all the memories good or bad. They are part of the healing process.