The 'Distant' Feeling/Grief After Time
CariJo's post on "The Nagging Questions" thread made me think of something that I am dealing with.
I had previously mentioned that my grief for Mom and Christin is different now. It has been 6 years since Christin left, and although I have been grieving for her all this time, the grief most of the time is not intense anymore. My grief for Mom, being that it has only been about 6 weeks is more fresh, understandably.
Although, I never wanted to have raw, fresh grief forever, at the same time, I never wanted for her to become a vague memory for me. When I think of her now, which is many times every single day, I don't feel extreme sadness. This bothers me in a way. I'm wondering if everyone who grieves normally, eventually comes to this place in their grief? In a way, it makes me feel really guilty. I feel like I should still be very sad, being that this was my very precious girl who I love so very much and miss every single day. Is this something that happens eventually, to all who grieve normally? (I know that all people grieve differently, but by "normally", I mean grief that is not to the extreme where people need psychiatric help for years.)
So, not only do I miss Chris very much, I am dealing with feeling kind of guilty for feeling better. Am I making any sense at all? Can anyone shed any light on this subject? In reality, I think I know the answer, but I just would like to hear what all of you think of this.
I know people who actually work on trying to continually feel really sad for their lost loved ones just because they fear moving away from that deep grief for fear that it may indicate that they don't love them anymore or that they are forgetting them.
What do you think? Have you experienced this?