Adult Son found Dead

OldieGalJuly 12, 2011

A few days ago, our adult son was found in his home by a friend. He had been dead for several weeks. We may never know the cause as the body was so decomposed. I feel more horrible than I could ever imagine. Life is just so hard.

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heydeborah

dear Gal (sorry i can't call you oldie)
please accept my sincere sympathy for the loss of your son. no matter how someone passes away, it is very,very hard to accept, even if you are not on good terms with the person. please so not beat yourself that you might have been able to change things. i go through this everyday with myself about my husband and it has been a little over 4 years now. i think, that losing a child -- no matter what their age is, is probably a parent's worst nightmare. is there anyone you can talk to say a minister, couselling a doctor (i think my doctor gives the worst advice, he says to go for a walk, for any problem you have, right now i walk 10 miles a day). make sure that you get rest, these dishes, laundry etc. will bew there, i guarantee it! if someone wants to pamper you, let them, this i know from experince,-- because 6 months later, your friends will drop off the face of the earth. remember the good times,

do something nice for a stranger---debbie

    Bookmark   July 13, 2011 at 12:59PM
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sylviatexas1

I'm so sorry.

Debbie's right;
get some rest, & get as much aerobic exercise as you can.
Oxygenated blood helps your synapses fire more efficiently, & so your brain functions better.

Give yourself time, be generous with yourself (pat yourself on the back whenever you get the chance, even if it's just for having a better day than yesterday), & "do something nice for a stranger", or for anybody.

There's a law of physics that says two objects can't occupy the same space at the same time, & I think there's a similar law that says you can't think about your own sadness while you're interacting with someone else, especially if it's in a positive way.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   July 14, 2011 at 3:21PM
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Nanny1127

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I will keep you both in my prayers. Nanny

    Bookmark   July 15, 2011 at 7:49PM
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Burtsmomforever

I am so sorry for your loss. My son choked to death on July 18. I know what killed him but I still am fighting with WHY. He was 30 years old and did have a swallowing problem, but we still can't wrap our minds around it. I did find something that gave me some comfort. http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1388654/jewish/Why-Do-Some-of-the-Best-Die-Young.htm
I am not Jewish, but I think this will speak to a lot of people regardless of denomination.
Do take walks. I walk my dogs every night, I stopped for a week or so and had horrible nights. Not that I have great nights now, they just aren't as bad when I walk the dogs. When I'm having a really bad night I go to my friend's 24 hour gym and lift some weights, ride the bike. At least I can help get the anxiety, anger and frustration out in a safe place.
Take care of yourself, I am one who always took care of everybody else and I came last. I have let everyone I cared for know that I can no longer do for them as I once did. I have to heal myself now. Know that you are not alone even though it feels like it.

    Bookmark   August 30, 2011 at 8:59PM
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Chad05201981

I am so sorry for your loss. On August 13 of this year my 30 yr old son Chad was hit by a 18 wheeler and he was killed instantly. My heart aches for you in spirit because the loss is go great when we lose our little boys. There are so many unanswered questions but I know now that he is gone and I will not see him again in this life or get to hold him and tell him how much I love him. Please know that you are not alone. God Bless you!

    Bookmark   August 31, 2011 at 8:51PM
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