My Dad: My Hero

ky_la_02July 24, 2007

I am 17 years old and lost my dad a little over a month ago, June 22nd. I wasnÂt ever very close to my dad because when I was younger he was always working and I never saw him, so when I got older I never felt the need to be around him. I always had the thought that I would have a relationship with him when I was older, but now I donÂt have that chance. He died very unexpectedly from complications of hepatitis C that he never knew he had. HeÂs an amazing person, and I know that now. He worked in a medical position almost all his life; at the age of 17 he was the youngest certified EMT in Montana. He ended with the title of flight nurse, working at Portneuf Medical Center in Idaho as a team member of the Portneuf Flight Team. He loved his job and the people he worked with loved him. He wasnÂt in the hospital for 24 hours until he passed away. So many people that horrible night commented on how much my dad had taught them and how much respect they had for him. My dad also taught every health care class imaginable at both ISU and CSI. I canÂt count the number of his students over the years that have told me how lucky I am that heÂs my dad; I never believed them until now... My biggest regret was not giving my dad a second chance. I couldnÂt stand being around him; the last time I talked to him was 5 days before he died (fatherÂs Day.) I lived two hours away from him, and didnÂt see him that often but still loved him. My family all seems to be coping so much better than I am. I canÂt sleep because I lay in bed, think about it and cry some more, and eventually have to get up because I cry hour after hour. I feel bad because I feel like IÂm letting him down. He always said he didnÂt want anyone to cry over him but I canÂt help it, it wasnÂt supposed to happen so soon. IÂm still young, I shouldnÂt have lost my dad. I need help but donÂt know where to turn to to get it. I want that second chance; I know now how much my dad really means to me, but itÂs too late. I donÂt see how my family can get over it so fast, they all seem like nothing happened; where can I turn when I feel like IÂm the only one feeling like this? I've posted the link to his obituary, if you have time, please read it, I wish everyone had the opportuniy to meet him, he was an amazing person. Thank you to everyone, God bless.

Here is a link that might be useful: James O. Rodgers

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ky la: Thank you for sharing your father's obituary. When I read it it brought back memories of growing up in Boise and visiting my older brother who went to school at ISU in Pocatello. Your father sounds like a terrific man who certainly left this world way too early. I know that I can tell you the obvious, that you should not blame yourself, that there is no reason to feel guilt. You will have many folks telling you this, but the olny thing that will really ease those terrible feelings is time. Know that with time things will become easier. Know that different folks greive in different ways. A person who outwardly appears to be in complete control may just be torn up inside... it's hard to tell. I'm sorry about your dad. If he were anything like a number of the fine folks I grew up with in Southern Idaho, then I know that the world is a lesser place with his passing.
--in my thoughts,

    Bookmark   July 25, 2007 at 12:27AM
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He knew.

People, especially parents, can tell the difference between relationship "weather" (storms) & "climate" (longterm).

Even island paradises have the occasional hurricane, but eventually the storm passes & the sky turns blue.

Your father knew you loved him, & he knew that your relationship would have matured with time.

Remember him with love & go on to live a good life.

    Bookmark   July 27, 2007 at 8:53AM
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I lost my father so a sudden heart attack a few months ago. I have an 18 year old little sister that I instantly thought of when I read your message. She had a very rocky relationship with my father and I believe alot of that came from her age and just being a teenager. She had an exceptionally hard time because the rest of us had such great relationships with him. My sister is still struggling with the fact that she and my father fought non-stop and now she never has the opportunity to change that. I will tell you the thing that I tell her and I believe with all my heart to be true. Your dad knows how you feel about him, he knows you love him. Everyday that you are you, he will be proud.

    Bookmark   October 31, 2007 at 1:10AM
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