lost them both....

sonya_lonelyJuly 4, 2008

I am so sorry..i too am an unfortunate one to loose my parnts on 27th april'08 in a car accident,and to make it worse ,my younger brother was driving the car.I am 27 and my brother is 24.The were returning from a party when the accident occoured and I got a call.We were very much attached to them and my brother is in depair.Mom was 55 and dad 55 too.We both are numb and cant accept they r gone.No one really is there for any emmotional support except my husband....i know i cant smile ever...

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loagiehoagie

Sonya, I am so very sorry that you lost both your parents in such a way. This world makes no sense at all sometimes. My mom passed 2.5 years ago and I cry almost every day...still. Nothing is the same and it never will be. The hurt does diminish a bit over time but the world will be a much sadder place without my mom and your mom and dad.

There will be a joyous reunion when it is our time to go over to the other side, that I know. Keep your faith and let them live in your heart forever.

Duane

    Bookmark   July 4, 2008 at 10:05AM
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mariend

There are excellent support groups and I would suggest all involved find one. Try one out, and if you do not feel comfortable, try another. There is one out there for you. Also you might want to change after several months. Churches, YMCA, YWCA, hospitals social services, senior citizens many time have list, and look in your yellow pages, and/or newspapers. You will smile again as you recover. One way is to start a scrapbook, journal and just write a thought or so everyday. If you have photos, review them cry--it is ok and put names on the back. Don't worry about putting them in a book, just recall memories. Figure on at least one year as you continue. Is there something special your parents did or were involved in? Maybe a memorial or scholarship? My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2008 at 4:02PM
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sonya_lonely

they were incredible...honest people.we were aa family of four and were in love with each other ..my father was an ever smiling person and was loved by all the relatives and friends...suddenly afetr his death and mom's death,me and my brother are left alone..no one turned up and came to us even for emotional support....my brother is numb...he does not even speak a word..i know its because he was driving....I dont know how to take this...I have sleepless night and every morning i cry as there is something missing ...the home seems to be lifeless....I am in despair..lonely...

    Bookmark   July 5, 2008 at 12:43AM
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tenderchichi

Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I found myself step inside your shoes as I read this unfortunate, tragic accident which caused this heartbreaking loss.

I am around the age of your parents and have children about the same age as you and your brother. I know I wouldn't want my son to fall so deep into the darkness if this were to happen. I would want my daughter to help him whatever way she could. That is what is most important right now. Your physical well being and both your spiritual and mental health. Urgent and utmost priority for both of you. Your Loving Parents would want this. You guys are alone now but still a family. I urge the two of you to get help. Apparently, you are the "healthier" one so try to find out where you can go to get it for yourself and him.

Once you get a direction to go on you can start taking baby steps forward in your new life.

Please let us know how you are doing and what you decide. Sometimes money is an issue in obtaining services. You might consider contacting the Town Hall where you live. If they have a Family Service Bureau in your community they can also help if they provide services or direct you somewhere.

Best Wishes.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2008 at 2:37AM
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sonya_lonely

hi tenderchichi,
it was soothing to read ur post...I am lucky that I dont have any financial problem as such..me and my husband are trying our best to get my brother out of the shock we r planning to bring him to our home and stay together...i know going churches and keeping ourselves involved into something or ther other might help... our love for our parents and their sweet memories will live in our hearts forever and ever...sometimes i long for them and keep calling them thinking i will gwt an answer but ...
anyways,thanks for ur support...

    Bookmark   July 6, 2008 at 2:05PM
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tenderchichi

I'm glad your feelings can be soothed. You kids are going thru a tough time right now. It is a hard place to be at. So lonely, with questions that have never been asked. You guys are going to have to grow together thru this mourning and premature loss. That is the hard part, I think as it was unexpected. Try to take care of your DB right now. The very circumstances are extraordinary which can add a greater burden to you both.

My kids have had their issues at times. There are instances when they do reach out to each other with a need that they didn't want to present to us (parents). They also have not always treated each other very nice at times (regrets) but don't we all. I hope that when we (mom and dad) are gone they will still reach out to each other. They share many good memories. So sad, that people, at times, let go of the good and concentrate only on the bad. They miss out on so much.

Recently, they shared the loss of their Beloved Papa (my dear Daddy). They thought He would live forever. He was a wonderful, fun, loving, interesting person. My daughter gave Papa his farewell speech while my DS stood next to her. I watched the tear drop roll down my DS's cheek.

They stood by each other during their time of grief and sadness and shared those memories together as they said their goodbyes to their Hero. My son was heartbroken. His Papa was bigger than Life itself to him.

Life is a journey with many joys and sorrows. It is even much more wonderful when you have someone who you shared so many cherished memories with to walk the way with you.

Honestly, though the very Best thing your Dear Parents left behind with you is their Love. That is their Legacy to you children. They would want you to keep Loving the way they loved you both.

All things are possible with Hope. Believe, Love and have Hope. Keep believing that there will be a calm at the end of this Storm.

Best Wishes.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2008 at 1:33AM
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kayjones

Please accept my good thoughts for you and your family - I am sorry you and your brother are going through this.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2008 at 9:04AM
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