I lost my mom 6 days ago

shelaylaJuly 10, 2008

I lost mom it hurts so much I cant sleep I have no one to talk to I phoned her every night and had dinner with her once a week at least sorry if this doesnt make sense but i am lost we had the funeral and my sisters and brothers went home I cry in my dogs fur every night I have been told by friends that she lived her life its a part of life i should be faceing in a tone of voice that implicates that i am foolish but this is my mom it hurts I dont want people telling me that i should have known that sooner or later i would lose her that everybody loses their mother so whats the matter with you

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I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom...I lost my Dad 11 days ago...I can truly feel your hurt...May God bless you...

    Bookmark   July 11, 2008 at 12:45AM
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I'm sorry you've lost your mother.

Although I always try to cut people some slack, figuring that they just don't know what to say & therefore often say the wrong thing & say it badly, someone who says, especially to a person whose loss is so recent, that losing your mother is "just a part of life" that you should "face"...is cruel.

Don't let this person near you.

Your pain might not ever go away completely, but it'll become less acute & less constant, & you'll be able to smile when you remember her & remember the good times.

Meanwhile, keeping busy gives your mind & your heart a break.

Do things that you enjoy, things that require a lot of focus.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   July 11, 2008 at 8:13AM
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Thank you both for your kind words.
I am keeping as busy as possible
Sylviatexas thank you...your right the people I thought
were friends are not. Irecieved more comfort on this forum and from my dog ..litegrneye I am sorry about your Dad
I hope we both start to feel better soon

    Bookmark   July 13, 2008 at 12:48AM
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I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My mom passed away in May and my dad last July. It is hard and I still can't get passed it, not a day that goes by that I don't cry. It takes time to grieve and everyone is different.

I would suggest to you that you find a new normal in your life as it will never be as before. Find a hobby to keep you busy or something that you have always wanted to do but been putting it off.

Some people just don't know what to say and say the wrong things. I don't think that they mean to be hurtful but don't think before they speak.

    Bookmark   July 16, 2008 at 6:09PM
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I'm sorry for your loss, Try to stay around people who feel your pain. Talk to your family, this is the hardest thing we will ever have to go though!I Wish I could tell you it gets better, my Mother is gone 5 months now and I still cry a couple of times a day. What ever it takes to get by.i also wrote to her every night in a journal if that helps. So sorry take one day at a time.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2008 at 10:26PM
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Try to find a grief support group in your area. July 17th and 29th was the 10th anniversaries of my mother-in-law and my mother. The grief support group I found was the best thing ever. These people know what you are going through, let you cry or shout or whatever and make no remarks about "she had a good life" "she's your angel in heaven now" etc.

I believe if I hadn't found this group I would have had a lot harder time coping with my grief.

I'm sorry for your loss.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2008 at 8:03AM
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I lost my mother over two years ago to cancer. I found this forum last night, and cried my heart out I think for the first time since she passed.

Reading others posts and knowing that there are people out there dealing with the same emotions is comforting. If you can't find a support group or a friend who understands, then please feel free to share it with everyone on this forum.

People just don't understand until they are in your shoes, so don't pay any attention to what they say - I truly think they just don't get it.

When my Mom was sick, my MIL (to-be) would come over to my house and remark that my house was too messy. Can you believe that? I was appalled that anyone would think that sitting at home cleaning my house was more important than spending time with my sick mother, knowing her days were numbered. I'm still bitter about it, and probably always will be, but honestly, I love my MIL and all I can say is some people just don't get it. I think you and I have bigger hearts than most, and that's the only way I can find logic with such ungodly insensitive behavior.

I have cats and dogs, and sometimes, I think animals are better companions at times like this. Whenever I am feeling sad, my animals KNOW it, and they never let me down.

I know it may seem difficult to do, but I dug out a lot of old pics of my Mom and seeing her in those "happy" moments makes me feel better. It helps me think about what I had when we were together instead of dwelling on what I've lost. I hope that makes sense.

Carry those happy memories in your heart - it's what she would want you to remember, and in that way, she is still there with you every day.

My heart goes out to you and I am sorry for your loss.

Be well.

    Bookmark   August 8, 2008 at 2:25AM
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I lost my dad on July 19th i have been in a fog for the last 3 weeks this is a horrible experience my mom died 8 yrs ago I now feel my whole world has changed...life as i now it will never be the same I feel your pain!

    Bookmark   August 11, 2008 at 8:52AM
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My Mother died on April 16, 2004 at age 89. I am here today because I am feeling lonely for Mother and missing her. I keep thinking if Mother was here we would go somewhere, do something, together. We didn't always get along, but we both knew we were loved by the other. It has been 52 months, and I still have sad, grieving moments, Fall is the worst for me, but they pass and you go on to other things. You never stop feeling lost at times, I don't think, when your parents die, but the stabbing pain lessens, otherwise how would we ever continue to live?
I am very sorry for you at this time in your life, there is no use people trying to make it ok, although they mean well.
It is painful and devastating, but you, like millions of others, will get better honey. Just do the best you can for yourself now, and don't feel guilty about trying to feel better. Lord knows your mother would want you to get better too.

    Bookmark   August 12, 2008 at 12:57PM
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Omg!!!!After reading these different post about their lost loved ones I'm notgoing to say i feel better it just let me know Im not alone in this situation and I lost my mom in 2009 of Nov and i still feel the pain that i can barely bear but i know by the grace of god that shes in a better place like ur love ones are peace be with yall bigg huggs coming from me to you

    Bookmark   January 22, 2011 at 8:22PM
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I know exactly what you're talking about. I lost my mum; my best friend & my soulmate 2 months ago & it feels like just now.. What i heard from people was more tiring & torturing, not soothing at all.. So i decided to stay away, not answer calls & or see most of those who said the words i needed to hear least. I just wanted someone to cry with me & tell what a wonderful woman she was & most to tell me that what her going away is the greatest loss & that it must be the most painful.. But when ppl soothe you they do it in a stupid way, keeping on telling you stupid things that they think will make you feel less pain while they actually increase the pain making you feel alone where no one can feel what you feel.

I don't know what to tell you to do bcz i can't even know for myself but do what you feel like doing, reply to those the way you want & know that no one will ever feel you bcz its your own misery no matter how people claim they feel your pain.. May only ppl in ur same situation can feel the pain but for themselves..

The only thing i can wish for you is that she comes in your dreams everyday, telling you things & communicating with you.. I also hope you feel her everyday with you like before.. Also do good things in her name..

    Bookmark   July 16, 2011 at 8:54PM
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