I was doing so well....

mav63_2007June 27, 2007

For a few weeks I was doing so well, I only cried myself to sleep about once a week but this past seven or eight days I just can't stop crying the minute I am alone.I cry all the way home from work. It was seven months on 23rd and I started thinking it is past 1/2 a year that I haven't seen him or touched him, and I never will again. In the back of my head somewhere I think I thought this nightmare would come to an end and everything would be OK again, he would come home and we would get back to our life.I hate this!!!! I am not brave and it is so hard too be strong, but I will because I promised him.

I hope you guys don't mind me crying on your shoulder, I don't call our girls because they are having their own hard time and I am suposed to be the Mom and be there for them (that's me talking, not them).

Goodnight and God Bless, Mavis

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(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Its been 2 yrs this month since I lost my mom unexpectantly, all I can say is with time, it will get easier. I still at times, when I least expect it I cry. Please know that your among people here that care deeply, and will be here for you, when you need to talk.

    Bookmark   June 27, 2007 at 10:33PM
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Thank you ladonna, I needed that.

    Bookmark   June 27, 2007 at 10:43PM
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Mavis - hang in there. I know what you mean, I had a tough week too and I haven't had a horrible one for a while. I get weepy at the oddest times and as you know, you just can't help it.

I disagree with you on one thing though. You are brave. Just to post here requires a mental toughness so please don't be too hard on yourself.

Prayers to you,

    Bookmark   June 28, 2007 at 8:13AM
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Mavis, hang in there. I know it is rough, and the grief just hits in a wave, a crushing wave, at odd moments. I was cooking at the stove the other night and it just hit me. I MISS MY MOM!! I broke down and weeped right there in the kitchen. As time goes by the episodes are a little less, and last for shorter periods, but I believe they will never go away completely. I don't feel strong either. Not a bit. It seems like others take loss so much easier. Are they stronger? More caloused? Or just hide it better? I don't know.

Hope you have a better week coming up Mavis and Doc.

Take care,


    Bookmark   June 28, 2007 at 10:35AM
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Thank you all for taking time to write to me. Today I feel a bit better, maybe because I am going to my grandson's 3rd birthday party.
Thank you for your prayers, I give mine for you.


    Bookmark   June 28, 2007 at 12:40PM
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Mavis, Unfortunately our healing process is a slow one with setbacks. Being alone magnifies the reality of what has happened to us. I try to keep busy and keep in touch with others who are alone. We need someone who understands what we are going through and it's good that you come here and talk. I hope that you enjoyed the BD party and being with family. Take care. Carol

    Bookmark   June 28, 2007 at 7:11PM
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Grief follows an irregular path, you might say. It certainly isn't predictable. I won't urge you not to cry, because I think tears are healing. We need them. But try to keep in mind that this especially difficult period will pass. It may come back, but if it does, try to accept it as part of the process.

Remember that only those who love get to grieve.


    Bookmark   June 28, 2007 at 10:27PM
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