My son and granddaughter died 2 years ago today

sudiepavJune 17, 2005

This is a very sad day for my family and me. Our oldest son and his only child, our 6 year old granddaughter, were killed 2 years ago this morning. We still miss them so terribly. This whole week has been a nightmare, waiting for the day and having 2 years ago so clearly in our minds. We remember the movie we attended the night before they died, the last time we talked to them (Father's Day, that year on the 15th), what we were doing when we got the news. Day to day living has gotten better, but each anniversary (birthdays, their deaths) is still so very hard. We still miss them incredibly, and because they lived out of town, sometimes, I can even imagine that I could pick up the phone and talk to them. I still have 3 messages from Millie on my answering machine; hearing her sweet voice gladdens my heart but always brings tears, too. He was such a wonderful young man, only 36, and a great dad. Millie was bright, funny, antimated, and just beautiful. She would have finished 2nd grade this spring, and I can imagine how smart she might have been. I have had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat all day. I got a bouquet of flowers from a good friend whose granddaughter died at 8 a month and a day after Millie and Dave died. She and I have many heartfelt, tearful conversations. Ironically enough, these 2 little girls were flower girls in our youngest boy's wedding, and when I look at the wedding photos, all the old people are still with us(not that I'd wish any of them away). But to think that the groom's big brother and the 2 little flower girls are gone is truly heartbreaking. The only difference is that Rebecca died of neuroblastoma and suffered mightily before she died. Dave and Millie were taken from us in a heartbeat. No matter how you lose them, it's a terrible thing for a family.

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lulie___wayne

I'm so very sorry for your losses! I just can't imagine how painful it must be to lose your child AND your grandchild at once. I've lost my daughter, and the thought of losing my son or one of my grandsons is not far from my mind.
I hope that the rest of your day wasn't as bad as you anticipated.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family tonight.
Lu

    Bookmark   June 17, 2005 at 10:30PM
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Brycesmommy

I'm sorry for your losses. I couldn't imagine 2 at once.

It just passed the 1 year anniversary of my son's death & that week was horrible for me too. Just the dreading of the day to come & waking up that morning was not something I wish upon anyone. We spent the day doing things that Bryce would have wanted to do so it helped because we knew he was there. Next will be Father's Day so it will be very hard for my husband...then next week (thurs) would be his 5th birthday so I'll be dreading that day to come as well...June is going to be a very bad month for us in all the years to come. But we will just continue doing things that would make our son smile.

My thoughts & prayers will be with you as well.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2005 at 11:59PM
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jan1uk

my heartfelt sympathies go out to you and your family.
Its a tough weekend for me too. My father-in-law passed 1 yr 17th June, and with it being fathers day the 19th I miss my dad too my 1st with out him he died 23rd oct last yr. Its also 2 yrs on monday my dear mother passed, and on tuesday 21st it would have been my father in laws birthday, plus its 9 mths on the 17th june I lost my beautiful 21yr old son. I do miss them all terribly and I just hope they all have a big party together. I think the first few months the shock and the grief help you come to terms with what has happened but as that wears off the realization sets in and it finally hits you that they have gone and this is what I am finding hardest to cope with. my special thoughts are with you sudiepav tc and go gently on yourself xxxx

    Bookmark   June 18, 2005 at 7:10PM
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chattypatty_79

I can't even think of what to say to you , this is so sad. I've cried all day because of the loss of my dad, sister-in-law and brother but not all at the same time just in a 6 week period of each other my thoughts and prayers go out to you. May God Bless you and yours. Chatty Patty

    Bookmark   June 21, 2005 at 2:37AM
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trinitytx

bless you.

trin

    Bookmark   June 21, 2005 at 7:24PM
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sudiepav

Thank you everybody for your kind thoughts. We got thru the 17th, and then Father's Day. Brycesmommy, you've been so in my thoughts and prayers. Your burden is great, too, and this time of year is especially difficult for you also. The past 2 years, we seem to be especially vulnerable starting with Mother's Day, then Millie's birthday, the anniversary of their deaths and then Father's Day. I do appreciate your kind words and the friends who called us just to say they know how terrible that day was. Somehow or another, we seem to be able to get things together later in summer, and then we function OK until Dave's birthday in October, remembering the glorious day on which he was born, and reviewing his life and how much we loved him. As I may have mentioned, Dave was a fine, fine baseball player in high school and college; he played until his early thirties, and then work and family left him with no time for baseball. He loved the game, and so did all of us. Last year, on June 17th, we visited his high school and walked to the baseball field. It was completely empty, school being out for the summer. On the bench in the home dugout was a single baseball. I think he left it there for us. This year on the 17th, I was walking my only other grandchild (she's 2) home, and there in the midst of a baseball field, newly dragged and devoid of footprints was a baseball! I think (and pray) that he's telling us that he and Millie are fine, but how terribly we miss them.

Bless you all who are carrying such terrible burdens. You're in my prayers.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2005 at 9:40AM
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