What's wrong with me?

mom2jaredJune 8, 2011

It's been a year since my mother passed away from Ovarian cancer and I can't seem to get back into my normal routine. I thought I was getting past this and moving on with my life, but this weekend I suffered a setback. I got frustrated about something, needed my mom and BOOM! The tears started to flow. My mother has been gone since May 2, 2010 and I still can't get past her death. I feel like everyone in my family; my Dad and brother have moved on and I am the only one suffering. I'm 41 years old and I am crying like a baby! My work is suffering because I can't concentrate and I'm making stupid mistakes. I need help!

I have no one to talk to about this other than my grief counselor who I don't see until two weeks. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do!

Please tell me this is normal!

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nothing is wrong with you. you are completely normal! there is no timetable for grief. everyone goes through it at their own pace. it's been just over 3-1/2 years since i lost the love of my life. not a day goes by that i don't grieve for gary and i still have my meltdowns.

what really helped me was getting myself on an antidepressant. as much as i hated to admit defeat, i could not do it alone and needed help. i only recently weaned myself off of it and i'm doing ok. perhaps a visit with your doctor might be in order? it isn't weakness, it's just plain ole grief and we can't always get through it without some help.

i'm so sorry for your loss. the passage of time will help. in the scheme of things, one year isn't a lot.

(((hugs))) to you!

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 6:23AM
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Do you have someone to talk to in the meantime--a friend, pastor, close relative like a sister? It really helps to talk. Maybe your dad and brother have not moved on. Talk to them and tell them how you are feeling. Don't be keeping your sadness to yourself. It's normal to be overcome from time to time. My mother has been gone 8 years, and sometimes I still cry.

    Bookmark   June 11, 2011 at 11:38PM
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I lost my son suddenly on July 18 of this year. A little less than 7 weeks ago. I was crying uncontrollably everyday most of the day. I went to the clinic I go to and talked to them and they gave me an anti-anxiety medicine and said in a month if it doesn't work then I should consider going on an anti-depressant. I am not depressed but terribly upset that my son is gone. I know a mother is different from a son but a loss is a loss just the same. I email my son every couple of days. Just to let him know how much I miss him and what I wish I could do again that I never will. I exercise everyday to get the endorphines released, when I don't, I have really horrid days.
I have found a lot of comfort from talking to friends who call to see how I am. Most people probably assume because it's been a year you are over your grief. You will never stop missing your mom. My grandmother died in 1967 and I miss her everyday, and my mother misses her just as bad. Cry when you need to cry, take time for yourself and talk to your doctor about some anti-anxiety meds or even mild anti-depressants regardless of what anybody says. There is a stigma attached but they do wonderful things for those who need them. Take care of yourself and know that you are not alone.

    Bookmark   September 2, 2011 at 2:01AM
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I know how you feel. lost. I feel the same way. My mom passed unexpectedly in June. I guess we will have days we can go about as normal...but something will trigger a memory or you will have something you just have to tell her and she isn't there...the first year is supposed to be the hardest.

I am trying anti depressants, grief counseling, and scrapbooking, walking regularly. The whole thing is a huge effort. But we have to keep going. I cry at odd times and certain things trigger it.
Hugs to you mom2jared. Let me know how you are doing.

    Bookmark   November 16, 2011 at 10:27AM
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It is so hard for me to get thru the holidays without my mom. I was an only child so we were extraordinarily close, and more importantly there is no one with whom to share the grief. I try to throw myself into other things to keep my mind occupied. Luckily my job can be all encompassing so that keeps me super busy.

Big hugs and prayers to you all, when we lose a person that had a special place in our hearts the number of years really doesn't matter, the pain is the same today as it was then.

    Bookmark   November 23, 2011 at 9:49AM
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