Life moves on but it will never be as sweet without my mother

tampa-ronJune 17, 2008

I want to thank you all for sharing your stories. I lost my mother just over a year ago and the pain has not stopped. It has gotten easier, at least on most days but then there are the days like today that I seem to continuously be fighting back the tears.

My mom had a massive aneurysm just before mothers day. It was so sudden and unexpected. I had talked to her on my way to work just like I did every single day and she was laughing and just fine. Within a few hours I was on the worst flight of my life to NC with my best suit packed. My family wouldn't tell me she was gone but I knew heart told me.

My mom was my best friend, I know with a son that is sometimes not the case but my mom was different and we shared everything with each other. We could speak without speaking because we were so much alike. I miss her. I miss telling her about my life and hearing about hers.

I sometimes close my eyes and try to remember sitting on the front porch with her just chatting about nothing, I try to recall her voice and our conversations but it gets foggier with time and that is hard to accept. I would give anything to have just one more of those chats.

Life moves on but it will never be as sweet without my mother.

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Ron, so very well said. I'm very sorry about your mom. I can relate. Me and my mom were so much alike too. We could talk on the phone for an hour about nothing. My mom left two and a half years ago and I still break down almost daily. I loved her so much, and she me. Carry her in your heart and live your life. That is what she would tell you.

I'm sorry you lost her so suddenly. My mom had a heart attack and survived 4 more heart attacks over a years time. I had a chance to tell her how much I loved her every day for that last year. I often think about if she wouldn't have made it that first time. I just can't believe she is gone.

Not many guys on here so it's nice to have you here. My dad's name is Ron also.

Take care,


    Bookmark   June 18, 2008 at 1:02PM
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What a wonderful relationship you had with your Mom. That is such great thing for you to have experienced. You certainly can feel that because of her you are a better person. I'm sure you won't forget this Dear Mother cause she is in your Heart Forever and surely you will meet again.

Keep on Loving just as she taught you to.

Take care

    Bookmark   June 19, 2008 at 12:45AM
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I to lost my mom..and she was a big part of my life.. I was only 28 when she passed away.. I had been at my parents house talking to my mom..and two hours later she called me and said Lisa you need to come to the house.. I thought it was my dad..Because my Dad was dying from ALS..So, I jumped into the car and took off...I didn't expect it to be my Mom...She had a Massive Heart Attack I called EMS and they came to transport her to Hospital.. When I got there they took me to the the side to tell me my mom was gone...IT seemed as if my world feel apart... I loved my mom.. I talked to her every well as my dad..and then one month and five day later.. I buried my's hard to lose someone you love..that was in 91 and I buried my brother in's rough and still is rough for me.. I still have bad days and think about them..I miss them really bad..I would give anything to be able to talk to them....

    Bookmark   June 20, 2008 at 11:10PM
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Lisa, in a way, you really can still talk to them, or at least bring them into focus so that they "talk" to you.

I went through a rough patch a couple of years ago, & I wished I could ask my aunts or my cousins or the wives of my daddy's army buddies, all of whom were maternal figures in my early life.

so I made a list & wrote down "good stuff" that I had gotten from each one.

For instance, I wrote "Aunt Lillie" & sat there a little bit, & the memories started trickling back, & I remembered & wrote down a lot of stuff:

peanut butter on saltine crackers
getting my hair washed (Aunt Lillie *always* washed my hair for me when I was little!)
the beautiful crocheted dress she made for my little plastic doll
the pot of coffee that she always had going
her armless "lady's sewing rocker" where she sat to crochet

& much more.

It wasn't as good as talking to her would have been, but it helped me, made me realize that she loved me & that she knew I loved her, & brought her back into focus, so that I could just hear her response to my questions & problems.

I hope this will help you as much as it helped me.

    Bookmark   June 22, 2008 at 4:49PM
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I know for me it helps to hear other peoples story. There are times when you feel like you are the only one in the world feeling the way that you do. I believe it's due in part to missing that person and the loneliness that you feel from that. But then I read a post like Lisa's and it resonates and you know you are not alone.

I described it to someone recently, who has not lost a parent, that it's like a club, but not one you want to be a part of.

Sylvia, thank you for what you wrote. I started thinking about all the things I liked about my mother. I certainly have a new outlook on life and I don't take things for granted like I use to. I now appreciate the smell of coffee just because it reminds me of my moms kitchen. She always had a pot "going" also.

    Bookmark   June 23, 2008 at 10:47AM
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I feel the same. Life does go on. Sometimes I want to scream everyone stop my Mother died!!! I feel so empty, I miss her so much. I have three beautiful children to think about so that keeps me going. A part of me went with her.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2008 at 8:44PM
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As I'm wiping my tears away, I have to say you pull my heart strings.

I lost my mother two years ago to cancer. Sometimes I wonder to myself if it would have been easier to let her go to a sudden death, instead of living through each day, feeling totally and absolutely helpless, forced to watch her slowly lose the sparkle in her eye, until one day it's no longer there.

I know in my heart that no matter the loss, it's the same, and no matter how many ways or times I could have said goodbye, I was never prepared for it. I never would have been.

For the longest time, events would occur in my life, and my first thought would be to call my mother. But she isn't there anymore. It's an awful feeling to have to remind yourself of that.

It's heart wrenching, and nobody could ever know the feeling of losing your mother until you've actually experienced it.

There's something about the bond between a mother and child that just can't be compared. Fathers are special as are all family members and loved ones, but nothing could ever replace the void that was my mother.

I miss my mumma, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I felt the loss for the past two years, but I've only now just begun to cry. Like you, I've been fighting back the tears.

My heart goes out to you.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2008 at 1:28AM
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My mother died while we were sitting side by side eating supper off trays and watching television. Like that. Gone.
For her it was a blessing, because she feared the process of death; her soul was ready so that wasn't an issue. For me, I don't know, I guess shock takes over and gets you through it somehow, but I sometimes wish I had a little warning so I could have said I love you mother. But I wouldn't have wished her to go through an illness, so maybe it works out the way it is supposed to for each one.
I am thankful I was with her at that moment, very thankful, otherwise I would always have wondered if I could have saved her. I am here 4 1/2 years later, because I miss her very much today. Bless all those who are sad and grieving today.

    Bookmark   August 12, 2008 at 1:14PM
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Mary Helen, as I was reading your post I was thinking that it was a blessing that you were there with her - I think that's wonderful. Obviously, it doesn't seem like a blessing at the time, but it all has meaning.

She knew in her heart that you loved her, and I believe she will always watch over you.

    Bookmark   August 19, 2008 at 3:10AM
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Thank you. That means a lot.

    Bookmark   August 27, 2008 at 6:28PM
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