loss of my mom

NinapearlJune 3, 2011

mom would have been 86 last month. she fell a few months ago, had to have hip surgery. at the end of march, complications necessitated another surgery and she had a major stroke while on the table. we ended up having to put her in hospice where she was cared for during the last 2 weeks of her life.

i'm in illinois, mom and the rest of my family are in minnesota. because i was facing back surgery on 4/20, i could not be there for her, although i was there in spirit. we kept thinking "any time now" and i was really hoping mom would be at peace before i went under the knife myself.

my son and his wife spent the entire day at the hospital while i underwent 6 hours of surgery. they went home for a bit and came back after i had been moved from recovery to a room. john broke the news to me and while we were all sad, we knew mom was finally with my dad and she was at peace. turns out she passed away at 5:10 p.m., just as they were getting me situated in my room. i am pretty sure mom waited until she knew i was out of surgery and ok.

it's been a little over 6 weeks now and i have yet to really melt down. not sure why that is...i do know, because mom often told me over the past 2 or 3 years, that she was ready to go, she told me more than once that she wished God would just take her. i was able to visit mom last november, before all of this transpired. she looked so good, was feeling fine, and i am so glad i have those memories of her instead of seeing her in hospice. i went through that with my late husband, not sure i could have gone through it with mom. *sigh*

i love you mom, i will see you some day. give daddy a big hug for me and tell gary to behave himself!!!

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Hello Nina,
I am so sorry to hear that your Mom has passed, she obviously was ready to go to be with your Dad again. God Bless them both.
How are you doing after your surgery? You have had a lot of pain to deal with in such a short time, physically and mentally. I hope you feel better soon.
God Bless, Mavis

    Bookmark   June 3, 2011 at 10:58AM
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I'm so sorry.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2011 at 4:08PM
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thank you both for your kind words.

mav, i am doing better, thanks for asking. the surgery was pretty extensive, my surgeon has told me repeatedly that "you have a terrible back!"...don't i know it! he did do wonders though! i'm just dealing with the tender incisions (had to be cut in 2 places) and the restrictions placed on my activity. it'll be another couple of months before i'm able to really cut loose but at my check-up last week, he did give me the go-ahead to take a real bath AND run the vacuum!!!

    Bookmark   June 4, 2011 at 6:50AM
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That's wonderful but make sure you follow instructions and don't do too much too soon.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2011 at 10:13AM
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So sorry... though I know you knew your mom didn't have a lot of time, the reckoning with the actual death is so hard. I appreciate all the comfort and kind words you have shown me, in person and on other forums, and I know your Mom was blessed to have such a loving, caring, sweet daughter.

On a lighter note, bathing and vacuuming must feel like HEAVEN!


    Bookmark   June 8, 2011 at 1:04AM
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mav, i'm trying...really, i am! after being down for so long and now that i am able, i find myself overdoing things here and there but when i do, my body tells me STOP!

kate, thank you for taking time from what i know is a hectic time of year for you, to post. i appreciate your kind words. i have your e-mails saved and will answer them soon. ;)

and oh my, YES! real baths and vacuuming...what could be better?? LOL

    Bookmark   June 9, 2011 at 6:17AM
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