This weekend is the fourth anniversary of my daughter Jill's death. She died on Memorial Day. Although Saturday was the calendar anniversary, I thought today would be the harder of the two days. I was wrong. At noon on Saturday I went to my granddaughter's softball game. I was told I looked sad, and that surprised me. I didn't think I was sadÂalthough for the past couple of months I've cried every day because spring is hard for me.
Then I went home in the afternoon and had a real meltdown. If anyone had been here with me, I'm sure they would have carted me off to the local psych unit. I was a wreck. Why the fourth year should be so devastating, I don't know. I was pretty bad again yesterday during the day, but in the evening I went out to dinner with friends, drank some wine, played Scrabble later, and felt better. I'm okay today.