3 months ago I lost My son in an Auto Accident

ridoodlesMay 18, 2009

It was Feb 7th , 09...he was the driver , and there were 4 others in the car with him. All very young...2 girls were 15 , one boy 21, my son age 20 , other boy age 19...All had been drinking...

he was racing , driving very fast , lost control of his car, crossed the yellow line and hit an oncoming car with a young couple. Those people survived...Thank GOD in HEAVEN..

My son and the 2 other boys all died...The 2 young girls lives were spared..they were in the hospital on respirators then with time got well and went home.

How do I cope with all of this ? I am trying my best to get through it all...the grief of losing my son is enormous added with the grief felt by all the other families touched by this tragedy at the hands of my son.

This all occurred in RI...

trying to stop crying ..trying to be strong for my other 3 sons...trying to get up in the morning...that is my biggest hurdle...getting up , and finding some strength to carry on with activities of daily life....pretending my way throughout the day....

Does it ever get a bit better? I am at the stage of still thinking about him every second of the day still..which is nice but when it seems to ebb the flow returns with the many reminders of that night , the following weeks up until now...

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lisa_2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child. I can understand your sense of loss though, as I just lost my beautiful mother and friend 5 months ago at the age of 50 to a horrible auto-immune disease.

At times I feel like I can get through my loss just fine and I am still the same person, then other times the loss hits me like a ton of bricks. Sad to say but I know we will be dealing with our feelings of grief for the rest of our earthly lives.

If theres one thing I learned from the passing of my mom, it's that each day is a gift from God. None of us are gauranteed a tomorrow, and we need to live in the moment and live for each day. Make your life and your actions count, and be a person your son would be proud of.

I know it's probably hard for you to think about the future without your son, because it's so hard for me to think about my future without my mom. I cannot imagine not having her at my wedding, seeing me have children and all the other milestones I have before me. All I know is this- take things one day at a time. One day you will be reunited with your son. He is not gone forever, just as you will not be in this earthly life forever, so the pain and sorrow can only last so long. I know he has passed much sooner than he should have, but some day we will be with our loved ones in paradise. Until then, treasure your time here with your other son's and loved ones because as we have learned, our world can turn upside down in a heartbeat, and things rarely turn out the way you thought they would.

Your son knew you loved him, and he would want you to be happy. Cry when you need to and remember him always, but always keep in mind that you WILL see him again. Right now he is in heaven with my mom and they are both thankful to be in a perfect place where they can avoid misery and grief like we are dealing with now.

Hang in there, and remember you are not alone. You are here for a reason and make the most of your time on earth so you can fill your son in on everything you did here when you see him in heaven someday. That's what I want to do with my mom too.

Take care,
Lisa

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 4:24PM
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katyrose

ridoodles,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain of not only losing your son, but others in the same accident. I lost my only son from an accidental OD on Sep 4, 2008. I cannot describe the agony, torture, and grief that I feel every day. I have found a good website where other parents who have lost children support each other and never judge:

http://www.otrib.com/community/forums/?CategoryID=3

I'll see you there.

Love,
Joey's mum
Katy

    Bookmark   May 19, 2009 at 10:19AM
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monaclare

ridoodles,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I lost my 12 yr old son Kevin 12/31/08. He hung himself trying to scare me and it backfired. Your loss is still so new. I see a psychiatrist,go to group therapy, and I am on medication. I can't get through this on my own. I also belong to the forum that Katy suggested. She found me on here and gave that site to me. Everyone there helped me get through many days when I didn't think I would.

The pain will never go away. It will ease over time. My pain is still present, but it is starting to ease. I still cry everyday, just as much, and not as long. Its not easy.

Take care and lots of love,
Monica

    Bookmark   May 21, 2009 at 9:48PM
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