Ideas for this widow's anniversary

LeogirlMay 21, 2005

You folks have been a wealth of information and now I'm asking for your thoughts on something I'm about to have to endure. On May 30th I will face our anniversary for the first time without my husband. He died last September and all of the "firsts" have been hard but I think this may surpass all the rest. Have any of you been through this and did you find a meaningful way to spend that day? Or, if you haven't been through it you may know or have heard of someone who spent that day in a way that was meaningful and helpful. So far the only thing I've planned is to write him a letter. I've even thought about placing it in a helium balloon and going to the nearby mountains and releasing it. I remember reading about the releasing of a balloon being symbolic for letting go and I've no intention of letting him go just yet. Any ideas?

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My Husband passed away on April 2nd..out 50 anniversary would have been on April 18th..we were looking forward to this year so very much. I think I was still in shock on the 18th and probably cried the day away.

Hugs to you ,

    Bookmark   May 21, 2005 at 3:02PM
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Consider writing your husband a letter and taking it and some helium balloons with you to the cemetery that day. Read him the letter, say some prayers and release the balloons so they float to the edge of heaven for him.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do something that day that will make you feel close to him.

    Bookmark   May 22, 2005 at 1:11PM
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please- anything but balloons, which must come to earth sometime- usually to the detriment of the local fauna.

release butterflies, have a bonfire (or a candle vigil) pray over bird seed and disperse it-

but while he may have made your heart soar, ballons are just too un-friendly to things they meet later on.

you could use that day to break ground on a memorial garden for him- or plant a favorite tree, or take on one of those household projects he never got around to.

if you want to spend it alone, maybe go some place you two enjoyed?

or you could host a small get together to 'roast' him as he had been- our group lost a friend years ago, and we still tend to get together once a year to have dinner and catch up with him...and yes, we get a feeling he does attend.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2005 at 3:08PM
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My husband's year aniversary was May 27th.
In one of the flower arrangements that I got last May there was a curly willow branch. This branch got roots...right through the cut flower material..and then lived throughout the winter..OUTSIDE! I think that planting this will produce a wonderful living tribute.
I would suggest that you plant something in his name..and you can watch it thrive.

    Bookmark   June 1, 2005 at 1:19PM
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Thanks to all of you for your ideas. Dian57, my husband was creamated so I have no cemetary to go to but I did stick with my plan to write him the letter and have it inserted into a helium balloon. I live near the Smokies so I took it to a place where we once had a picnic for his birthday. I released the balloons (had to use 3 so the note didn't weight the one down too much) and I watched until they were out of sight. I felt more at peace after writing the letter and "sending" it to him and the rest of the day was peaceful as well. The ideas of planting something were nice (and read too late) but I'm not so good at getting things to grow. It would be interesting to see if a plant would grow if I planted it in his memory - If it did I'd definitely know someone other than me was involved! My grandson's first birthday was the day after our anniversary. He brings happiness to me in so many unexpected ways. Thanks again for all of your ideas.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2005 at 8:33AM
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