Question on Medium

DarrylsMomApril 17, 2005

Hello everyone it is almost 7 months since i have lost my son and two weeks after that i came here. I must say i have seen a councilor and i have gotten more from coming here then seeing the councilor. I have a question, I am going to see a medium on friday and would like to know if anyone here has gone to see one. This man is not a fake and has a very good name. All week i have been trying to think of questions i want answered but i don't know what to expect. So if you could share some experiences i would very much appreciate it. This never gets easier it's always one day at a time for me and i'm sure will be for a long time to come. Take care everyone and thanks for listening Darlene

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lazy_gardens

Darlene -
Do not answer the guy's questions with anything but a "yes" or "no" ... almost all mediums are doing (consciously or unconsciously) what is called "cold reading". They pick up information you give them, or they fish by asking very leading questions such as "I'm seeing an older man" and you reply "That must be grandpa" and they know there is a deceased grandfather in the family. You might already have told him you want to contact your son, when you made the appointment.

The worst of them actually research their customers enough to know the details of the death and the family.

If the guy is not faking it, or fooling himself by being an unconscious cold reader, yes and no answers won't bother him. If he's just cold reading, he won't be able to pull information from yes/no without obviously fishing for info.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2005 at 4:07AM
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DarrylsMom

Thanks for the information. This guy only wanted our first name only and that was it one person phoned him and she did see him before and found him very good. So i will take your advice and will aonly answer that way. I am a very spectial person and will be hard to convince but i feel i must go and try. Many people are dreaming of him but i'm not even getting that. Thank You for your time and i will keep in touch. Darlene

    Bookmark   April 19, 2005 at 10:17AM
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alisande

Lazygardens' advice is good. It may be hard not to blurt something out, but if you know in advance you can be prepared. See if you will be allowed to tape your conversation with him. It's a highly-charged experience, and details can be easily lost. If you can't tape it, bring a big pad of paper and take notes.

As for questions, you might ask if your son has tried to give you any signs to show that he is okay.

I did a phone session with a woman who came highly recommended from my therapist. She spoke of things she couldn't have known about except through my daughter. She didn't tell me anything I didn't know already know, but it was a lovely confirmation of something I knew very well: Jill's spirit is very much alive and around.

Best of luck to you. I hope you'll report back on this.

Susan

    Bookmark   April 19, 2005 at 10:48PM
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lulie___wayne

Darlene, I'm so glad that you get comfort from this forum.
How did your medium visit go?
LU

    Bookmark   April 24, 2005 at 9:55PM
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kudzu9

DarrylsMom-
I believe some people have a 6th sense, but I also believe mediums are con artists. Not necessarily malicious con artists, but con artists nonetheless. They can be very clever and often empathetic and insightful, but they are still not what they represent themselves as. Have you talked with your counselor about this?

If it provides you comfort, then I guess I shouldn't be negative. However, you're still emotionally vulnerable and that is not a good position to be in when dealing with someone like this. Do not get hooked in and taken advantage of. Perhaps you can take a friend with you who might provide objective feedback afterwards.

You've undoubtedly been through a lot and want answers to questions that really can't be answered in this life. I'm not trying to rain on your parade...just trying to prevent you from getting hurt even more.

    Bookmark   May 5, 2005 at 4:20AM
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chinacat_sunflower

a competent psychotherapist is a medium who won't admit to being an intuitive.

a GOOD medium is, for the most part, an intuitive person with good visualization.

I could describe most clergy in the same light.

you can't sue a medium, and they don't take insurance- but they don't charge $120/Hr, either ( or they shouldn't )

have worked with them, for them, and as one over the years- still have the 'intuit' cards, as a matter of fact.

some people need the theatrics. and that goes for both sides of the table...but then, some people 'need' a high mass in Latin, and some find it stifling.

sometimes, one needs help expressing the things that have gotten tangled up in our heads. sometimes we need to be told which way is up (or out, or forward) and sometimes, we need to be reminded of something we forgot.

the 'medium' part is and must be always secondary to the HEALER part. beyond that- if it leads you towards a better understanding of things, it's good for you.

what 'school' or 'style' a counselor certainly makes a difference- but not nearly as much as adherance to that old greek oath that begins 'first, do no harm'.

    Bookmark   May 10, 2005 at 3:20PM
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