Before Your Loss...Your Old Favorites

bowdoin514April 6, 2006

Hello everyone,

Just wondering, as I often am, if others have similar feelings as I do. What are some of the things you used to do and enjoy before your loss, that you have trouble enjoying now, or can't bring yourself to do? And are there others out there who have had success in doing things once again after your loss? Am I making sense? An example of myself is that I used to love going yard-saling, sewing, listening to classic rock music, working in the yard, etc. I feel I haven't got the concentration or the heart for it. Just wondering what all you might have used to like to do for pleasure & enjoyment, and since your loss, you can't get back in the groove with it. Thanks.

Emma in PA

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socks

My mother and I used to sew quilts together, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it without her.

    Bookmark   April 7, 2006 at 1:17PM
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alisande

Emma, I think these things come back in what my father used to call "due time." Grief, or clinical depression, take away energy and concentration. As your grief becomes less acute, you'll find your interests more appealing. They may never be the same, but they'll likely be part of your life again.

My daughter was a musician, and after she died I had zero interest in singing or playing the piano, something I used to do every day, often with her. Now, almost five years later, I am playing and singing again. There are some songs I avoid, but on the whole I'm enjoying it.

Susan

    Bookmark   April 7, 2006 at 10:34PM
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sudiepav

I've thought about this one a lot. After close to 3 years, some things that I thought I'd never do again are easier, and some may never be. For 3 months after Dave and Millie died, I was in a fog, but I do recall that I made jam, pickles, and then fruitcake, things I'd not made in decades. It helped, I don't know why. I still have a really hard time going through the pictures and videos. Certain songs on the radio still make me cry, but some which were so much Dave or Millie, just make me want to laugh, after all this time. I can't go back to the zoo or the Children's Museum. I spent so many really great hours at both places with Millie. I did give my middle son a museum membership for his birthday so that he can take his little girl, but I'm not ready to be there. Last week, I made ice cream with my almost 3 granddaughter, and I can tell you it was painful. Millie and I did that every summer together. But I'm hoping that the next time won't be so hard. Sarah loved it, just as Millie had done, and she was so proud that she'd helped make dessert for the family. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Hugs to you all, and thanks for listening to me.

    Bookmark   April 8, 2006 at 6:17PM
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shirleyinadirondacks

Shelly died in Dec of '04. Our other daughter, Tanya, and I are voracious readers. Wehave both had trouble reading since Shelly died. I occassionally can read a cozy but not suspense, which is my favorite.

Tanya says that she keeps trying one genre after another and just can't get into them. Hopefully, we'll both get back to normal eventually.

My father died last August. A couple weeks ago, one of my cousins died. He was two months older than me. My mother just called and his younger sister has died.

when we went to Henry's graveside servies(no other rites), his widow is in a wheelchair, his youngest sister is in a wheelchair and his other sister is using a walker. She had a foot amputated. And now Lucy has died. She's been in real bad health for a long time. when I asked her husband about her, it didn't sound good.

Man, it's coming hot and heavy. No wonder I don't want to read. I haven't got time.

shirley

    Bookmark   April 16, 2006 at 9:38AM
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