Forgiving

sudiepavApril 5, 2006

I've never met the elderly woman in Naples who misread a red light and took the lives of my son and granddaughter. I am so angry when I think about her. I think she is probably a very nice woman and I hope that this event has changed and haunted her life forever. I do know that her court date got her not even a slap on the wrist...thank you, Florida, for sheltering your elderly. Most days, I don't even have her on my radar, but at times, I think about what she cost us, and I honestly could strangle her with my bare hands. How do any of you get through this? I believe in God, but I'm not sure that religion is the key to this, at least for me. Have any of you found peace with the peron who caused a loved one's death. Thanks to you all for all you've done for me.

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tjmondragon

My husband was alone on the motorcycle, but he was with friends or so they call themselves. I have heard so many stories of what happened that night. Some people say my husband was bumped by the jeep that was also in the accident and that is what made him lose control,They say that she is telling everyone that leonard was running from the police and I know thats a lie, so for that I hope he haunts her in her sleep. Others say he was trying to pass a semi and hit the rear end of it. I know I will never find out what happened until I see him but as mean as it seems I blame his friends who were with him that night, they should have stopped him.You know the ironic thing is he just got his bike back from the shop one week before he wrecked. I even blame myself for not being here to take care of him. So I dont know if I answered your question but I will never forgive the guys he was with that night, or the girls in the jeep. I am so sorry about your son and your grandaughter and I hope the lady has nightmares everynight, they should have given her some kind of punishment. If this makes you feel any better I always say to myself leonard knows what happened and if the girls did bump him I know he will take care of them. So maybe your son will do the same.
I dont mean to sound so mean but it hurts that they are here and my husband and your son and grandaughter cant be. My husbands was drinking and may have just lost control but my heart tells me different. But your son was just enjoying a drive with his daughter im so sorry.
always tracy

    Bookmark   April 5, 2006 at 7:05PM
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socks

I don't have the situation you two have, but I am angry with someone who was unkind to me and my family when my mother died in '03. I don't forgive; I just ignore it. Might be a little like ignoring the 300 lb gorilla in the room, but I am aware that anger is part of grieving, and I guess I need someone to be angry with.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2006 at 7:28PM
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jlj48

I have soooooooo much anger regarding the idiotic Dr. who "cared" for Mother before she died. The details are much too lengthy to get into here. The anger has lessened as time has gone on, but it helps to remind myself of his ignorance. I also believe that one day he will be judged by our great Lord for what he has done and not done to my mother and our whole family, so I know his day is coming. What is so frustrating for me is that when you lose someone so unfairly or seemingly unnecessarily, the person robs you of knowing if it was simply their "time" to die in the book of life, or did their life end early due to this ignorant person's negligence. That is what is so maddening for me. And you just have to figure out a way to accept it and sort it out in your mind, you have to, your loved one is gone. Life is so unfair. But that's what we have Heaven for.

    Bookmark   April 6, 2006 at 12:00AM
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jlj48

How could I fail to mention this? I lost my mother one year ago on March 31st. We also moved into a new home in a new city on that day. So I've been a little stressed and my sweet Mom has been on my mind.

    Bookmark   April 6, 2006 at 12:03AM
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bowdoin514

Hi Sudiepav,
I understand how you feel on wanting to strangle the woman who cost you the precious lives of your son & granddaughter. I feel the same on that, and wanting to have your feelings known on how she has interrupted & invaded your life. I am unsure of who to be angry with in my situation. My daughter & her boyfriend died in an auto accident last June. I wonder if his driving was at fault to begin with, but the accident reconstruction was inconclusive since the car was burned to the maximum. Then there were 2 other vehicles involved. Did the guy who hit them 1st cause them to crash into the 2nd vehicle? Did the fact that the 2nd driver was high on cocaine, cause the car to burn with Danny in it? If the 2nd car didn't hit them, could they have survived? My daughter was thrown from the car upon the 2nd vehicles' impact. I wish I had the chance to tell these people how they turned my life into a living hell. It's still early in my grieving, and often I feel there is no chance for me to forgive. Erica was my only child left. I am not an extremely religious person, have my beliefs, but how can this be in God's plans? I AM a FIRM believer that what comes around goes around, and EVERY dog gets his day. Sometimes, these are the only thoughts to get me through a day. I hope the other 2 drivers have trouble sleeping at night, knowing they "aided" in shortening 2 lives. I don't wish the loss of a child on anyone, but I hope it truly bothers them for as long as they live.
Emma in PA

    Bookmark   April 6, 2006 at 9:48PM
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sanddny

Hi All,
I just lost my dad las week and so that's what brings me to this neck of the woods. I was reading bowdoin514's comments and saw

"but how can this be in God's Plans?"

Well, I was not brought up with religion but I also have my beliefs. At my dad's funeral, I thought the mass was so comforting because the tone was almost as if it doesn't matter how we go, it is an honor to pass through this life and move on, and someday we too shall be so lucky. Maybe, if there is some grand scheme, the pain WE suffer is to test our faith or something like that. Anyway, just my thoughts, I'm so sorry for all of your losses.

    Bookmark   April 8, 2006 at 8:37AM
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