Now I've just lost my mom

jlj48April 11, 2005

I lost my dad in August, 2004 and now I've lost my mom. She was my best friend. We just buried her last Monday and since 3 of the 5 grown kids live far away, we had to go through her and dad's things. That was an experience in itself. Now I'm home and I'm just so sad. I called her every day. My neighbors brought me some food yesterday and I caught myself wanting to call my mom to tell her how nice my neighbors were. I wasn't "over" my dad, and now I've lost her. I just don't know what I'm going to do. Just wanted all of you to know.


Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm so sorry to hear that, Joanie. You've had a lot to deal with all at once. I know well that feeling of wanting to pick up the phone and call. Since that's not possible, how about writing her a letter? It might feel good to do that.

I'm sure your wonderful relationship with your mom was a huge blessing to her, and gave her much happiness.


    Bookmark   April 11, 2005 at 4:12PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Joanie, I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad as well as your mom. I lost my mom June of 2004, and I often wonder what it will be like when I lose my dad. I dread it, yet I know that I will most likely have to deal with it.
Susan's suggestion about writing your mom a letter is a good one. I still think about calling my mom sometimes also. That will probably linger for us both for a long time.
You must have been a very good daughter. That is something that you can always be proud of and be grateful for in the years to come.

    Bookmark   April 11, 2005 at 4:57PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

It's tough when both parents are gone, isn't it? People who have always, always been there..and now they are not. The world just isn't the same any more. But just remember, Joanie, that even though they are gone, you have your love for them still in your heart, and you will always have that.

You have my heartfelt sympathy. Take care.

    Bookmark   April 11, 2005 at 5:02PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thank you for all of your words of comfort. I know I was a good daughter and that we had something special. But I also have regrets - that I didn't do more - when she was sick and well. Life will never be the same. I will never be the same. I have changed - I have gone through the depths of grief and am trying to work my way back to ??? Not sure - some sort of peace and normal I guess. I'll miss her always and still need her, even though she's gone.

    Bookmark   April 12, 2005 at 2:28PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo


Bless you! Although I have my mother, your thoughtful words make we want to call her right now. Thank you for underscoring the importance of loving people while we have them.


    Bookmark   April 12, 2005 at 2:47PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi Joanie,

I really do know how you feel. I lost both my parents in two days. I was in the middle of treatment for cancer and I really felt like I needed them so badly at that time. My husband, daughter, family and friends were all terrific, but there is just something about your parents that is so special. I still (after 4 years) sometimes think of calling them in an absentminded moment. But believe me, it is gradually growing easier. No matter will always have them in your heart and your memories. Nothing or nobody can take that away from you. Keep strong! My thoughts are with you.


    Bookmark   April 18, 2005 at 3:01AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I can't imagine what you went through Dee. I know I am blessed to have had such wonderful parents. I just felt like I wasn't "over" my dad, and now my mom. What a hole I have in my life. SHE is the one I called to tell what's new with my kids each day. I miss her so much. I spent the weekend feeling sorry for myself, feeling like I have no one else and that no one cares. I must have cried all day yesterday. I just don't know what I'll do. We have moved several times and I have lost contact with close friends so I'm really feeling isolated. I had become so dependent on my mom for her love and support. Now she's gone. I sure hope this gets easier but I don't see how.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2005 at 10:02AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Joanie, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your losses. Sounds like you had the same type of relationship with your mom that I had with mine. It will be three months this weekend since my mom passed away. I miss her desperately.. so many things have happened in my life in the last three months that I have needed her for and wanted to share with her. I know exactly how you feel. I think of mom at least a hundred times every day and night - she was the rock that kept me grounded. It is a huge loss. People do care what you are going through they just don't understand how truly deep it goes. I understand because I am living it. Just take each day as it comes, cry when you want/need to. It doesn't really get 'easier' as life goes on, you just fall back into it.

Take care of yourself.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2005 at 3:18PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi Joanie,

I hope you're okay today. I have sent you a personal email. I hope that is alright.


    Bookmark   April 18, 2005 at 8:05PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks so much for everyone's words of comfort. And thank you Dee for the personal e-mail. The support here means so much. Today is my birthday, it's bad enough to be (cough, cough) 40, but I realized this morning that last year on my birthday I had both of my parents, and this year I have none. I say that, and it is true, but I know it sounds childish. I really, really miss them both. I wasn't able to mourn hard for my dad because my mom was such a wreck afterwards - until she died. Now I am mourning them both. But I am okay today. Better than I thought I would be. I don't want to spoil what my family wants to do for me by being so sad. And I know my parents wouldn't want me sad. AND I know they are together, and that really brings me comfort. Thank you all for listening. It means so much to have somewhere to go with all of this.

    Bookmark   April 19, 2005 at 2:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi Joanie,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I do hope you have a lovely day. Please try to relax and enjoy deserve it!

It is not childish to say that. It is coming from your heart. We are forever our parent's children, no matter what age we are.


    Bookmark   April 19, 2005 at 8:25PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Giving Meaning to Life by Billy
Giving Meaning to Life by Billy, see link Here is a...
Double loss both parents
Mom died Sept 17 of lung cancer at age 84 as a total...
How to live after the death of a spouse
Hope this might be helpful to some. 1 Before you move...
Horrible images of my bellowed brother
Three weeks ago I lost my beloved kid brother to a...
Do you believe in the afterlife?
I never gave much thought to death before... but now...
Sponsored Products
Possini Euro Design Double Organza 16" Wide Ceiling Light
Euro Style Lighting
Cafe Paris Outdoor Wall Art
Grandin Road
Marsala Outdoor Coffee Table Cover
$54.50 | FRONTGATE
Lula Dog Bowl by Alessi
$59.00 | Lumens
Square Space Shelving Unit
$59.99 | Dot & Bo
WP Warm White PixelPro LED Rectangle Module
Herman Miller | EamesĀ® Aluminum Group Side Chair, Outdoor
SwissLux 'I-Flex' Twin-size Foundation + Frame Mattress Support System
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™