Harder the second year
It has been a long while since posting... The short history is that my beloved wife passed away 2 years ago from a brain aneurysm. For some strange reason I have been having a much tougher time with it this year... I've become more deeply depressed and unable to focus on daily tasks, work, etc.
Last year I was still in a daze, just going through life on auto-pilot. This year, the sense of loss is more permanent and unchanging. I feel like I am completely stuck in an awful place with no way to escape. My job feels oppressive; my home has the stigma of loss surrounding it; and I am powerless to change either one. I know that I don't have it as bad as some people, at least I still have a job and a home and a terrific son who looks up to me, but my attitude toward everything is very poor and I can't seem to change it, no matter how hard I try.
I am in counseling but not sure if it's helping. Maybe I need medication... But really, I need something to look forward to, a goal to work toward. I feel compelled to make a career change but that's impossible right now as I have no training or schooling in anything other than what I'm currently doing, and I need the income. If I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that progress is being made every day, that might help.
Sorry for going on and on but I needed to release.