What do I tell my son? he cant remember daddy

tjmondragonApril 18, 2006

Hi everyone, I need some words of wisdom. I have had a really hard week. My 7 year old son came to me crying so hard, harder than I have seen him do in a while. He said he could'nt remember his daddys voice.That broke my heart because they were like best buddies.I know how I feel and how much I hurt but he does not talk to me alot about leonard. He says he dont want to see me cry so he dont say anything.Then he finally comes to me and I cry. I dont think I can handle this it hurts so much.We watch home movies, I still have leonards phone on so we can hear his message"I have to call it every night before bed". He is such a big hearted kid to worry about me and his sister .I always ask if he wants to talk and I always say "remember when" just to make sure that he remembers what a great daddy leonard was but what else can I do? Things do seem to fade away so fast how am I going to make sure he never forgets his daddy? I just cant stop crying again. They were so close m.j. would always follow leonard around he really was daddys little helper. What else can I do? You know what else I cant stop thinking about, chloe is only one and she was only 3 months when leonard went to heaven. How is she going to know what a grat daddy he was? Why does life have to be so unfair? Please help me guys. Why is it that I take a step forward and like 5 back?

always tracy

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I'm sorry I haven't been on this forum for quite a while so I'm unaware if you have previously gone to any counselling or grief therapy to help you deal with the profound grief you are feeling. If not, it isn't too late to seek out treatment, it will help you to cope better and be in a better position to provide comfort for your children without falling apart in the process. You can seek help under Social Services in the Yellow Pages or perhaps through your doctor. Your son may even benefit from a therapist who works with children dealing with grief.

It's good that you watch home videos and still have a recorded phone message to turn to. But it might be helpful to gather some family pictures and make a scrap book that your son can look at whenver her wants to, perhaps kept beside his bed. You should explain that your tears do not mean you are upset with him for coming to you to talk, they are just because people cry when they miss someone they love, and that is normal. Assure him that he can come and talk to Mommy whenever he wants, because talking about his Dad is a good thing, not a bad thing. Perhaps you could remind your son of a time he got some physical pain from a wound or sprain or something. Remind him of how it hurt most when it happened and when it was healing, but after enough time passed it didn't hurt any more...that even though he can remember what happened, it doesn't hurt to talk about the wound anymore since it has healed. Tell him that when someone we love dies, it makes us hurt for a longer time than a normal wound. But even though we will never ever forget them, one day we will be able to think of them and talk about them without feeling so sad. You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2006 at 6:26PM
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