Our beautiful daughter

blueenoughMarch 19, 2008

It's been over a month now, and I'm still not sure how I will survive. Our loving daughter died last month after three weeks in the hospital. She had had what we thought were auto-immune symptoms for the past year, but three different doctors had discounted her symptoms, saying it was just stress. She has a 12-year-old son and a 15-year-old daughter who were both involved in all kinds of activities. Needless to say, they, along with her husband, are devastated. My faith alone is my sanity. Words cannot express my feelings. I've never hurt so badly in my life including this last year when my husband faced surgery and chemo for lung cancer. Thankfully, he's still with me, supporting me and loving me even in his grief. I guess I'm asking for your prayers for our family because I know my daughter is in heaven with the Lord. As I've said, that's the only comfort I have right now, knowing she's with my mom praising the Lord. I cannot ever talk to her, kiss her, hold her, rejoice with her, or comfort her, though, again on this earth. I thought I could understand what losing a child would be like, but I really had no clue. For those of you who have lost a child, how do you go on, much less ever find joy again?

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kayjones

Sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss - the emotional pain is horrific, I am sure. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer, April 17th, 2007 - I will never 'get over it' - the pain is just as real and hurts just as much today as it did on the day he died.

I try to keep busy, and try to fulfill the plans we had together - I will be doing it all alone, but that's what he would have wanted. Just keep coming here and asking for love and support.

    Bookmark   March 20, 2008 at 7:11PM
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alisande

I'm so sorry for you and your family. When I lost my daughter six years ago, I knew instantly that I'd never be the same, and I was right. Books I read on grief confirmed this. But that doesn't mean I never smiled again, or laughed, or took pleasure in life.

It takes a lot of time, though. I don't remember the day I realized I didn't cry that day, or the day before, but it came eventually. I still need periodic "good cries," though. They're very theraputic, and I can feel the need for one building up inside me. I still miss Jill terribly, and that will never change.

I'm not allied with any religion, but one of the things that helped me the most was the knowledge that my Gillian had survived, albeit in another form. She was, and is, still very much around. I've been truly fortunate to receive many signs from her, some subtle, some more dramatic. I encourage you to be open to signs from your daughter. Do a search on this forum for "signs," and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Please continue to post here, and we'll try to help.

Susan

Pictures of my daughter Jill

    Bookmark   March 22, 2008 at 10:27PM
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ms-smith

When a child is born into a family, as parents you experience emotions that are found in no other human relationship. That deep sorrow you feel may take some more time to dispel, but the God of comfort will help you through this time of sadness. Something that always brings me comfort is knowing that God yearns to reunite all children with their parents. To suffer the death of a child feels so unnatural! But this promise is something that will bring you much more comfort than just believing that she is in heaven.

At Isaiah 26:19 God assures us "Your dead ones will live. A corpse of mineÂthey will rise up. Awake and cry out joyfully, YOU residents in the dust! For your dew is as the dew of mallows, and the earth itself will let even those impotent in death drop [in birth]." In fact, YOU WILL get to talk to her, kiss her, hold her, rejoice with her, and comfort her again on this earth. Not only will you be able to be with your daughter, but it will be under better circumstances. "He will wipe out every tear from their eyes and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore" at Revelation 21:4. Isn't it comforting to know that one day we will never have to go through the pain of losing our children again and you and your husband have the chance to be with your daughter again in perfect health and happiness. I hope the promises in the holy scriptures bring you as much comfort as they did in my time of grieving.

    Bookmark   March 26, 2008 at 6:58AM
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lulie___wayne

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I too, know the pain. We lost our 19 year old daughter almost 10 years ago (April 5, 1998) as she was trying to save our injured dog and was hit by a truck. She was a wonderful person. Most say she is indescribable. They feel that they are wasting their time trying to explain what kind of person she was to others who didn't know her.
Faith has gotten us through this far. I don't know where we would be today without that faith of knowing that she is in a better place and that we will see her again. We too, have recieved signs from her. There is no doubt that she still exists.
You will find joy again. It is a conscious choice. You have to choose to go on and live the best life that you can. Your daughter loved you as you loved her and would not want you to spend the rest of your life grieving.
I try to tell myself that Christin is on a wonderful vacation with all the love and beauty possible. I will go to meet her there when my time is here. We then, will enjoy it together for all eternity.
The biggest thing that helped me in the beginning was to be with others who have lost their child also. No one really knows unless they have walked in our shoes.
Please "meet" my Christin.
Lu

Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Website

    Bookmark   March 30, 2008 at 8:26PM
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mitchdesj

lu, your website is amazing, thanks for sharing it; your daughter was exceptional, what a beautiful young girl.

    Bookmark   April 26, 2008 at 9:06AM
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