My Dear Husband is gone

msgeorgia_annMarch 18, 2008

Hello, My dear husband, soul mate, and best friend died on 12 March. He was diagnosed with brain cancer on 4 Dec, '07. After that it was a whirlwind of tests hospital stays, surgeries, chemo and radiation. He rapidly lost use on his right side, memory, and finally his swallow reflex. When it came to that, he refused a feeding tube and bravely faced death. His cancer was incurable and inoperable. It was so hard to see him go through this. He was a very active man. We loved to camp, hike, bike, golf and travel. I am lost without him. I know we had a wonderful marriage and many memories. But, I am alone now and I miss him so much. I just want to be with him.

Ann

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kayjones

Oh, my Dear one - I am SO SORRY - I can relate - the love of my life died April 17, 2007, from pancreatic cancer - the most horrid thing ever. I just received your email, and will respond there. Hugs, Jo aka Kayjones

    Bookmark   March 18, 2008 at 4:21PM
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kayjones

Ann, I emailed you back, but didn't hear from you again - WHICH thread/response are you talking about not being able to open?

    Bookmark   March 18, 2008 at 9:10PM
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jampack

Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died Nov.24, 07 after taking 2 chemo treatments for lung cancer. He was ill with lung disease for 2 years before that. Cancer is a very bad thing and such a THIEF.

How long were you married? How wonderful that your dear one was your soul mate and friend. So many people do not ever have that. You must have so many beautiful memories. Bring them close to you when you can. I found that it has helped me when the pain of not having my husband near me threatened to overwhelm me.

I was numb for quite some time after he died. Went through the motions of doing what I needed to do. Lots of business--financial, hospital bills, phone calls, people to thank. Almost more than I thought I could do. But it needed to be done.

Do you have children? Close friends you can talk to? I did and it does help. You can always come here too. Sometimes medication is helpful to get you through the roughest time, just as is grief counselling. My faith was my foundation.

Something a friend told me was, that now I must take care of myself and must re-invent myself. I think that is the truth. Not something we want to do. But we can.

Your husband would want you to honor him by continuing your life in the best way possible. That really shows how much you loved each other, IMHO. Be Brave.

Please come back here often. I will be keeping good thoughts for you and yours.
Jan

    Bookmark   March 19, 2008 at 8:33AM
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kayjones

Jan, I lost my husband last April 17, from pancreatic and liver cancer - you are so right - we NEED to lean on each other.

If it had not been for my cyber family, I would have had a much harder time dealing with the loss of my best friend - the only way I can repay my husband and friends is to take good care of myself and carry on - it's difficult at times, but I just keep trying.

    Bookmark   March 19, 2008 at 11:43AM
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