I am a 61 year old grandmother of two. My husband of 43 years passed away on Oct 22, 2004. I haven't read many of the messages on this site so I'm not sure if this is where I should be posting.
I am in the midst of doing what all the books said not to do . . . . that is - selling my home of 41 years and moving into a condo near my daughter and grandkids. For the past 6 years, since a work accident, I have not been able to do much of anything around the house. My husband was also disabled and we were both guilty of being packrats. I'm also in the the angry stage of my grief which also makes me feel very guilty. When my husband could no longer work in the yard; he hired someone to cut the grass but that was it. His other hobby was old cars. I had no idea of how much money he had actually put into his hobby until now. Even though he loved our house, for the past 10 years, he refused to put anything into it to keep it up. His idea of repairing a broken window was black plastic and duct tape!
There is no way I could fix up and then keep up this house. But trying to carve the amount of stuff in my 4 bedroom and finished basement home to move into a smallish two bedroom condo is overwhelming. Too top it off, only a few pieces of my furniture will fit.
I am feeling so overwhelmed because there is sooooo much to do to the house in order to get it fixed up to sell. I have never had much self-confidence and I am unable to even keep up with the mountain of paperwork.
I am so lonely and with all that is going on; I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head. My disability only allows me to stand for 4-5 min at a time so I get really frustrated easily.
Have any of you out there gone through angry/guilty stages?
If it not for my faith in God, and knowing he will only give me what I can bear; I don't know what I would do. Bill and I started "dating" when I was 14 so I've had him to lean on for most of my life. I'm sure you can relate.
Thanks for letting me vent. God Bless,