Son's Wedding

dian57March 15, 2005

My son Brian was killed in a car accident in October of 2000. Time, the love and support of family and friends and this forum have all helped tremendously with my journey of grief and healing.

My older son got engaged last January and is getting married May 20. I have been struggling with my emotions. Despite the excitement and happiness for Danny, my thoughts and heart ache for Brian, who should be best man.

I will be dancing to I Hope You Dance by LeeAnn Womack with Danny and can't imagine how I'm going to get through it with even a shred of dignity.

Has anyone else been in this situation and offer suggestions on how to handle it?

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leave off the mascara, and cry, darling...

there won't be anyone there who doesn't feel the same way.

    Bookmark   March 15, 2005 at 11:14AM
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Chinacat's right, Diane. No one will expect dignity. But if it will help to have a less emotional song, maybe that's an idea for you.

My advice is to just make sure Danny knows how happy you are for him. Assure him that some of your tears are from joy, not just sorrow.


    Bookmark   March 16, 2005 at 7:25AM
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Brian will be there for sure! I know that without a doubt. He will be happy for Danny and want you to focus on Danny's special day and to know that he is with all of you in spirit.
When a good friend of mine's son got married recently, she had the same feelings as you do. Her other son was murdered and she didn't know how in the world she would get through the wedding, reception etc.
Her son and his bride had candles on the alter with pictures of her son and his father who was also deceased. When my friend and her son were lighting her son's candle, a HUGE thunder bolt rattled the entire church. It happened the second that the fire hit the candle wick. EVERYONE in the church knew that it was Cory letting them know that he was present.
I agree with Susan as far as making sure that Danny knows how very happy that you are for him and his bride. Good luck!

    Bookmark   March 16, 2005 at 11:55PM
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