20 years old, my mom just passed away
She was sick for a long time.. she had lung cancer but had beaten that through months of chemotherapy.. but she was 58 and had COPD and emphysema and was just falling apart in general. Couldn't walk very far, couldn't walk at all in the very end. She was in the hospital two months before she died on March 3. I didn't believe she was dying until they told my brother and me she was dead.
I come from a really crazy family full of alcoholics and drug addicts, and my mother was the only person in my family who was sane at all. She was so kind and intelligent and amazing and I took her for granted and secretly resented the time I had to spend at the hospital. The morning she died my brother texted me to come to the hospital and I got angry and wished to myself that she would finally die if she was going to die. She died like an hour later.
It's so hard to sleep. I try to remember the last couple of conversations I had with her and only remember a sentence here or there.. Im desperately trying to hold on to the sound of her voice and the way she looked. I have a bad relationship with my father and little in the way of immediate family, and I just lost my favorite person in the world..