my dad

carmenkipMarch 20, 2005

Today is March 19, 2005 my dads birthday. I just found out today that my dad died 07/06/2003 and I had no idea. So this is really a shocker. I blame myself for not being there. I do not know the circumstances of his death. He died at the age of 90. So he did live a full life and for that I am happy. But now it is a matter of dealing with the pain, grief and guilt. I feel guilty for not being there when he died or not being there for his funeral. I don't even know where he is burried so that i could go there for the closure that I need. So now all I can do is have crying fits that never stop. I cry for awhile then stop then it all starts over again. He wasn't my dad by blood but my dad by heart as he was the one that was always there for me when my own dad and mom had abandoned me. My adopted mom was his ex wife so he bacame daddy and stayed daddy all my life.

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I'm so sorry! I can't imagine how hard this must be on you just finding out this news. I hope that you can find out soon where he is buried and make a visit to him.
We are always here.

    Bookmark   March 20, 2005 at 7:12PM
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I am so sorry. this must be so hard to find out this way. it sounds as though you loved him very much. i hope there is someone who can help you find where he is buried. if you found out he passed away, perhaps that person can lead you to find this information. I hope you are able to visit his burial site too and talk to him. he knows you loved him.


    Bookmark   March 26, 2005 at 5:17AM
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